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It was just a one night stand for him but it meant more than that to me and I'm depressed

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Question - (30 May 2017) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 June 2017)
A female India age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I'm 33, single. I went to a monastery to inaugurate an event (work related...I'm a diplomat). There I met a young monk (he's 42, he's supposed to be celibate) and we got on rather well together. He sort of followed me around, which was flattering, and we debated religion and politics. It was awkward since he's a monk and I'm an atheist but we really delved deep into several philosophical issues and found points in common. He's also a musician. He invited me to his concert but I skipped it. That night, after the concert, he jokingly held my hands and asked me if I'd like to debate with him all night. I wanted to spend time with him but since I found myself getting attracted to him, I made excuses and went to my hotel room. I didn't sleep a wink all night. In the morning, I went out for a stroll, hoping to meet him. He seemed to have been waiting for me. His eyes locked into mine (he kept staring into my eyes several times the previous day) and I was sort of transfixed. He said that he had to leave for Paris (where we both live) immediately and that he was sorry to go away. He took my phone number. We stood, looking at each other, and it was very awkward. He eventually asked me to give him a hug. It was a long hug. I went back my room, sat on my bed and wondered why I was so overwhelmed with sadness when he barged through the door of my room, shut it behind him and grabbed me into his arms, kissing me passionately. He said that he wasn't supposed to do this and that it would hurt us both later, and then he left.

My flight back to Paris was at night. When I got off the plane, I saw him waiting for me at the airport. I have no idea how he managed to come inside without a ticket. We embraced passionately, and then he said we could spend time either in his car or in a hotel room. We booked into a hotel nearby and made love all night. It was romantic and passionate. I found out about him. He belongs to a well known family and is the son of a celebrity. He quit everything to join the monastery. Well, I knew I could never have him but I wanted him so badly. We left the hotel early the next morning.

He didn't contact me since then. He didn't accept my friend request on Facebook. I sent him one text message after three days, just a one-word text...his name. He didn't reply. I haven't tried to contact him since then but I'm going crazy because I can't stop thinking about him. I know now that it was just a one-night stand for him, but it meant more to me. I'm terribly depressed. Please help.

View related questions: atheist, celibate, depressed, facebook, kissing, one night stand, text

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2017):

Poor cookie

What a wicked "monk". he used you, sounds like he got into your head and now wants to take your soul. Don't let him, he's (now get this)... a "Celibate monk".

that monkey should be missing you!

You're the one who gave him great sex, sex that he never has?!?

If he contacts you now (coz he's an idiot - as well) IGNORE! And if you don't - then - IGNORE!

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2017):

Denizen agony auntYou say: 'Well, I knew I could never have him but I wanted him so badly.' So there you have it. You knew it was impossible but you still desired the experience. And you took it. Now you have that memory. It is part of your life story. You have to recover yourself and move on.

You aren't the first to have had this experience and you won't be the last. I hope in time you will look back on this and smile.

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