A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi im bit upset, i started being with this guy such kissing him and stuff casually but not arranging to meet up or anything. I got a bit annoyed with him the last time i saw him and we hadnt talked since. Anyway i saw him last weekend i was hoping we could work things out but he kissed a random girl right in front of me then just stared at me, i then went and got a guy and kissed him right in front of this guy to get him back. I don't know why he did this, was he trying to hurt me or something, or is he just an asshole, hes usually so sweet and very shy so i dunno what got into him. My pal said that maybe since we had a bit of an argument he thought i didnt want him anymore so he scored with this other girl. Why did he stare at me then while he was with her?? anythoughts? We're both 20. Thanks, im upset cos i thought it might be going somewhere.could this just be a misunderstanding?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2008): "Your intent to lash out at this guy by kissing another guy was the best choice."
should be amended. Change that to:
"Your intent to lash out at this guy by kissing another guy was NOT the best choice."
Apologies...(dang-lost those specs again!! lol)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2008): Yes, he was trying to hurt you --it was a mindgame to knock you off balance and apparently it worked. So many young people play this sad game. Sounds like he is a guy who doesn't like to be annoyed so he plays with other people's feelings. What does that tell you about him? . So how do you handle this situation and act towards this person who treated you badly? You muster up your self-respect, hold your head high and you move on, dear. You need to learn to set clear intentions for yourself and create what you want in your love life, especially if you want to date someone who is mature and good for you and your happiness. But how do you know what is really best?” you might wonder. The answer is simple. It doesn’t matter. What matters is not the choice you make, but rather the intention behind your choice. Your intent to lash out at this guy by kissing another guy was the best choice. It made you feel worse, didn't it. Because you lowered yourself down to this bf's smarmy level. So always, choose behaviors that is best for YOU and use your head, in the future. Try your absolute best to forget this guy and his games and never lower yourself to anyone's level by doing the same thing they did to you. Learn from this mistake, and go live with a clear heart and mind. Find someone who matches your values and your level of maturity and integrity. Good luck, dear
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2008): In my opinion you both acted like "children"....wanting attention! Trying to be spitefull and hurting each other will get you no where. If you really care, I suggest contact this guy, meet him for coffee, have a straight chat about what happened and take it from there! Always remember never try and take revenge by doing what the other party did! I promise you in the long term not worth it.....stay cool; stay calm and pretend it does not worrry you....then you will have his "cage" rattled! Remember that in future! Never allow the guy to see, you are getting upset or hurt...then he will feel good , happy and satisfied, because that is why he did it in the first place ....to get to you....to upset you....and you played into his hand! Be more wise in future! But trust me, we all live and learn from our mistakes. Hope you learnt from this one!
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