| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend lied to me about his age for 4 months. He told me he was 34 when he is really 36. A month before we were going to move in together he decided to tell me about his little white lie. I am only 23, so he said he was afraid if he told me the truth he would lose me. We love each other and we have an amzing relationship. We talk about marriage, our future, and how much we love and care for each other, all the time. Trust has never been an issue and he treats me with respect and love. I do not have any complaints about us. But this threw me for a loop. Do I take this lie and think this is a sign into our future, or do I shake it off and say, it was only a 2 year difference? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, uncle ed +, writes (11 January 2006):
i agree with irish49 that you ought to give him a chance. believe me, marriage is about compromises, forgiveness and acceptance. however, because trust is also very important in a marriage, you have to confront him with this thing he has done. he needs to acknowledge that it is wrong. it is an issue because if he lies with little things, then he would be capable of doing the same with big things. lies that are discovered undermine marriage, so there needs to be honesty and transparency. good luck to you both.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2006): I agree with Mommyofthree. Give him another chance, dear. I get the feeling he was self-conscious of the age gap between you both and told a fib. Give him more assurances that the age gap doesn't worry you. You sound like a lovely couple and remember..he made a silly error in judgement. Give him the opportunity to really explain why he did this, before judging him too harshly. Set a clear boundry with him, though..that honesty and truth is the only way you'll conduct a relationship with him. Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (10 January 2006):
 That is a hard one, my first thought was "well it was only two years it could have been a lot worse". What would worry me, is did he really think he would lose you over two years. This guy of yours may have some issues with himself, the situation just screams to me that he wishes he was something he is not. I wouldn't end the relationship over this but I would make sure to make it very clear that you want an open and honest relationship, even if the information he has to tell you may hurt your feelings. Hopefully that way he will realize that what he is is good enough and will not fear being honest with you in the future. Good luck.
...............................
|
