A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 19 months now. Im really happy when I'm with him, but he tends to sometimes break plans we make and I get upset. I don't know whether I should be upset or if I should just accept that he can't make it, usually he gets caught up with friends. It's at that point that when we make plans I don't even know if they will happen. He doesn't always do this to me but it's just those times he does that makes me worry about him always breaking the next plans. It's not like we don't see much of each other either because we see each other lots during the week, so I just need to know if I am over re acting or whether I should be annoyed when he does this and how I should deal with it. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2011): hi,
i understand ur issue.. i am having it too.. the way i deal with it is that 'don't expect it too much from him'.. it offends my Bf a bit, but i told him it hurts me more when he gives me hope in our plans n end up not happening anyway.. therefore, he accepted my way.. he does however did try to win my confidence in him again, but it will take time..
however, when u say 'usually he gets caught up with friends', i think, then that is a bit tough.. cuz do u mean to say he rather be with his friends all the time than with u or is he having more fun than being with u..?
i guess either way, let juz make plans with him as backup plan rather than the priority plans.. it will be less aching this way.. if argument starts, juz tell him that it is your way of protecting your own heart.. if he doesn't like it, then stop cancelling on u all the time.. it is a win win situation..
best wishes to you (",)
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 September 2011):
 I would be upset. Sticking to plans previously made with your partner ( or with anybody else, as for that ) is a matter of common courtesy and respect, and cancelling or rescheduling frequently is just another way to say " Your time and convenience are way less important than mine, and I don't need to take them into account anyway because you'll let me get away with it ". To me, " something came up " is very seldom an acceptable excuse. Like : childhood friend who relocated far away just passing by in town for a few hours ? Well, ok, fine. But : video game taking longer than expected and getting more interesting ? heck no.
With a pinch of salt, of course. Maybe we can make some allowances for your bf being young and probably scatter - brained like most of his peers :). SOME allowance, not too many. Being able,or not, to respect the obligations you have freely assumed is something that speaks volumes about a man's character and reliability even in future matters way more important than a movie date.
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