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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of three years just dumped me. He has issues with my past from a long time, and yet again he's giving me hard time over it. He said he feels he will never be able to forgive me. I never did anything too wild in my past, but he knew a couple of the guys I'd kissed and the one I gave a BJ to. All that happened ages before we started dating, though. Still, when he first asked me and I told him he started judging me, and dumped me several times, but I think this is definitive. Everything about it makes him upset. I love him so much and I'm devastated. I know there are other men out there who wouldn't care about my past, but I don't want them, I want him. In my eyes, I did nothing wrong. I was always faithful, loving and loyal, and I was very patient. It's so unfair, because now I'm heartbroken over nothing. I gave him my virginity, and he was my first love. Three years wasted on someone who just trashed me! How do I move on? The pain is just too much for me to take, especially considering how all my friends and my sister are coupled up, and it just hurts seeing them so happy knowing I'm this miserable.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): He can't FORGIVE you for things you did in the past????!!!!!! What an idiot.
Go find someone else who will really love you. I also agree with the previous poster-learn your lesson and don't be so open about things next time.
I know it hurts now, but I promise you will be glad you got away from this guy.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): This guy is an ass- you need to be really grateful that he didn't lead you on longer. How can a guy hold this kind of stuff against a woman? Learn from this, your sexual past is PRIVATE! It's ok to discuss your likes and dislikes, what you've done in the past (not with WHO!)- but don't share the entire story... if you had anal sex with your last BF, there's NO REASON to disclose this unless it comes up, then you can be the one to disclose how much info... and you can LIE if you want... tell him you've wondered what it would be like... not, sure I did it 3 times with Brad... something as simple as a BJ- guys ASSUME that all girls have sucked a dick, kissed and had intercourse. Beyond that, is PRIVATE- group sex, same sex fun- the advanced stuff- that's all PRIVATE.Find someone who has a healthy respect for you, and have a good time!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2009): Sucks for you. You did nothing wrong and you've been getting crapped on for it for 3 years. He had no right to treat you like he did. As long as he hasn't been dealing with lies from you then it's entirely his problem to get over it.Try to understand that your BF's anger about your past comes from internal hurt he feels over it. He wouldn't care about it if he didn't care about YOU. That's why he thinks maybe he can dump the feelings with another girl. He looks at other girls out there and doesn't care deeply enough about them to be as hurt by their pasts - yet. But as soon as he starts to care about them, he will find himself right back where he started. And almost any other girl than you will be bringing a whole lot more past experience for him to get tortured with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009): He is a jerk. Find someone who will respect you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (13 December 2009):
It will take you time to get over this, but you can. This guy used you, and never really got to know you. I know you want him, but taking the emotion out of it, you're wanting a guy who doesn't accept who you are and doesn't care about you at all. Try to look from it at that angle if you can. You won't be miserable for ever, and yes, there is another guy out there who is better. Any guy who doesn't' accept you for who you are, isn't good enough. You have to be brave, make sure you're keeping busy with friends, and keeping busy with your own life. Focus on what goals you want to achieve. You'll get there.
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