A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why did he tell me he always looked for porn of women who looked like his ex yet when I asked him if he ever did that with me whilst we are apart ( LDR) he said he did only once . It makes me feel very unattractive to him when we can't be together in person and he'd rather look at women very different to me. Yet when he was with his ex and even after they broke up he would look for women in porn who looked like her Does this mean he is only emotionally attracted to me and thinks im physically not as attractive as his ex or the other women in porn because that's how I feel.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (16 October 2015):
 Why did he tell me he always looked for porn of women who looked like his ex ?
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I think Male Nonny is right that he is PLAYING on your insecurities. Making you feel like you are in competition with some other other woman, and one is he MORE attracted to than you. Some women TRY so hard to be the "perfect" GF, "perfect" woman, and to please her man in hopes that it will KEEP him from leaving her.
It makes the woman feel some odd sense of "gratitude" towards the guy, because he is somehow "lowering" his standard to be with THAT woman.
But in fact it's TACTLESS of him to mention her, sex and porn to you. WHAT he watches is not about you. IT's about him.
A woman who feels inferior to an ex or pornstar is easier to manipulate.
If he makes you feel like you are second best, why BE with him?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2015): I have no idea why he thought it would be a good idea ever telling you that! My ex and I occasionally looked at porn together on his laptop and I noticed that one search he'd done was not only chubby blonde, which was what his ex was, but he'd actually put her name into the search box followed by chubby blonde! This really made me upset but I think he was searching trying to see if she was on one that site, which I find really weird.Don't take much notice of it, although it's quite reasonable to be upset by, but porn is some strange world and some guys end up searching for the weirdest stuff on there. Maybe when he was with her he found some porn star that did something on film that he liked a lot so is he searching for that porn star again rather than just anybody who looks like that.He's with you because he find you attractive, I very much doubt if he were with you if he didn't find you attractive. Besides this porn issue does he compliment you? is your sex life good?I think he's a bit of an idiot telling you about his porn habits, even more of an idiot for admitting he only looked for somebody like you once. I'm sure he could tell you were upset by that so I have no idea what he was thinking.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2015): Hmm... have you ever thought that he's just checking to see ifshe did finally get into theindustry with Johnny Cock.Perhaps he trained her and primed her and got her used to the idea in his own loving way and he knows for sure you aint ready yet.
But you are fulfilling his adventuresome desires by envying her which means that the psychological part of making you feel comparitively undervalued is already done.
Take a cool hard look at your not so shining prince and ask yourself if you really want or need a porn addict who makes you feel undervalued.
Whats on the menu for xmas..turkey and porn? Or your the only one for me darling and who needs porn when youve got the real thing?
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