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female
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anonymous
writes: HiA while ago I noticed that a guy at work seemed to be flirting with me a lot. I have lost weight recently and I am starting to feel much better about my appearance but my confidence is still very low. I started to talk to him more and we have a lot of common interests and get on well. I often see him in the local pub and when he's had a bit to drink he makes a lot more effort to chat yet at work he seems to keep me at arms length. I'm wondering if it's because his best friend works there too.The main problem is that I have started to think about him more and more and I am convinced that he likes me too..one problem..he is living with his girlfriend. I don't know how long they have been together. He says he remembers me from ten years ago when we both used to drink in the same pub. I remember him too and I liked him back then but never had the guts to say anything.I'm wondering if I should say anything now and risk ruining his relationship. I hate infidelity but I have been on my own for so long (nearly four years) and I would really like to see if things could work out with us. Should I keep quiet and just let things develop naturally? I'm afraid that when i feel something for someone its written all over my face anyway! I don't want to appear desperate!! Anyone out there with some hints?ThanksSarah
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2007): GirlI am in somewhat in the same situation as you. I work with this guy that is one of our ccoks and we both seem to like eachother. It is pretty obvious I guess because within the first week of working together everyone of the the back workers asked him and all of the waitress' asked me is we were going out. Then just last night I was asked why we hadn't hooked up becuase we have such a beautiful chemistry. It is really hard because everyone has assumed that he is cheating on his girlfriend with me, when we just talk. I mean we both have feelings for eachother, but he still has a girlfriend that he lives with and we make really good friends. So Iwould say to you that just be friends. It really isn't worth being hurt,expecially with him having a girlfriend and if you already have a good relationship as friends why ruin that. I couldn't imagine my life without this guy that I am talking about, but I also couldn't go into a relationship with him know that he is living with his girlfriend. I couldn't handle lossing him as a friend that listens to everything I have to say. Sorry about your delimate. I hope you make the best choice.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2005): Well, if he really likes you i thing he would have told you by now.
If he lives with his girlfriend that means he has someone already, so why not find someone who is not attached?
I have seen this time and time again, guys want a bit of fun, they flirt till they get it and in the end, we think we getting somewhere but it all goes back to stage one (i have a girlfriend).
So why not just save yourself some heart ache and keep it cool.
If you know him since that many years ago i `m sure he would have done something by now to get let you know he was interested if that was the case!
I just don `t believe in relationships starting by stealing other girls partners.
If someone done that to me i wouldn't like it a bit.
And if he would leave his girlfriend for you then what? How long till he leaves you for someone else? What goes around comes around my darling, find someone who respects people not someone who has a girlfriend and still flirts with who ever is around.
Note...(when he's had a bit to drink he makes a lot more effort to chat) That says it all!
Hope it doesn't offend you, i been there so i know what is like!
Take care and the best luck to you.
Kind Regards
FTuley
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2005): Dear Sarah
The only advice I can give you is this:
You can live with Rejection better than a Regret!
Maybe find out how serious he is with his GF,and what are his future plans are with her. Sort of feel him out a bit about the topic without being to obvious.
If its not serious or maybe troubled,then you can let him know how you feel. Good Luck!
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A
reader, pops +, writes (6 October 2005):
Leae the guy alone, Sarah. He drinks too much, and he has another woman. If he wants to start seeing you, he will ask. Men flirt to compliment women, and to practice their seduction techniques. Don't read too much into flirting, especially at work, where flirting often also serves to offset boredom.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2005): If you hate infidelity, I suggest you forget about this guy as long as he has someone else. Being party to cheating is as bad as being the cheater yourself, imho.
Get yourself out and meet some people! Show off your new looks! And for heaven's sake, don't jump at the first fellow who strikes your fancy. Hold back tight on those passion urges and date around for a while. There is someone out there who deserves to have a great relationship with you! Someone great who you deserve too! I just know it! Have some fun with your life and don't "put all your eggs in one basket" emotionally.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (6 October 2005):
 Sarah,
If he's in a relationship, just leave it at that. Maybe he's just a friendly guy and maybe he's like he is with you with everyone. If he has a girlfriend, leave him alone and find someone that is available. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate some girl wanting a relationship with your man, am I right? Just put yourself in her shoes. If he's doing this to her, don't you think he'd do the same to you anyways? Who wants someone like that?
Just let things between you and him develop naturally. You shouldn't try to pursue a relationship with anyone that's taken, especially if you know they are. That just isn't right.
Good luck though, maybe you'll get lucky.. you never know.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2005): Yeah. Leave him be.
I realize you have the hots for this guy, but when a man wants you, he will chase you. I would leave this one alone. Consider how you'll feel when you make a move and he tells you he has a girlfriend.
Also consider how you'll feel if you make a move and he responds--if he's willing to cheat on his long term girlfriend, is he someone that you're going to be able to trust? This is just too sticky to get involved in. There are many other fine, single fish in the sea. Go get 'em!
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