A
female
age
,
*ookingup
writes:Im a little puzzled about my ex-boyfriend. We have been broken up for a while now but every time we see each other its as if we never have been apart. He recently called me and apologized for something he did. I told him I forgave him and I can tell he thinks of me often even though I do not see him very often. He tells me he misses things about me and he misses how I am positive and how he feels good when he is with me. He was getting serious and wanted time to adventure out. recently he saw my good friend and they spoke. But during the conversation he blurted out how he was sorry he messed up and everything was his fault and how he missed me. What he did was leave me for another girl who turned out to have more head problems than he had bargained for. He lied when he left, he said he did not want to be in a relatinship for a while but went to her. After so much time why would he be saying so much and wondering. It sounded to me as if he was regretting everything he had done. What does this all mean. Does he still care about me enough that he would be considering asking me back. I still care for him a lot but I wonder why he is still talking about us to my friends and not to me. Or is he just playing games. If I could get some insight that would be good.
View related questions:
my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AbigailBradbury  +, writes (7 February 2012):
 To add to my answer, remember that everyone makes mistakes though and he may deserve a second chance. Weigh up the good and bad in your relationship...would he be worth risking heart break for? Good luck
A
female
reader, AbigailBradbury +, writes (7 February 2012):
this is a hard one to answer, but I will try my best to help.
If he's talking to other people about you, he probably realises that he messed up by leaving you but doesn't want to admit it.
I wouldn't read too much into this at the moment hun, because it sounds as if you still like him a lot and you will get hurt if your intuition is wrong.
You need to talk to him about it, just subtly ask him if he was happy with you and still thinks about you, and how he sees you; like as a friend etc...?
Be subtle, you'll soon know how he feels. Then take it from there. Remember why he's an ex though!! :)
...............................
A
male
reader, Ayan Ganguly  +, writes (7 February 2012):
 Most men tend to be vulnerable in a relationship...it is a possibility that he misses you and have realized his mistake...but you can't never read minds and it is always logical to take your time before taking the plunge,since he has already cheated you once...make sure what you really feel for him..how you feel for him at the present moment..don't rush into commitment..reignite the feelings and see if things are the same where you both left them before the breakup...then let the relationship roll forward but YOU SHOULD ALWAYS BE ON THE DRIVERS' SEAT SO THAT HE MIGHT NOT HURT YOU AGAIN
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): It does not sound as though your ex-boyfriend is playing games.
The fact that he called and apologised for something he did, and when he saw a good friend of yours he repeated how sorry he was he messed up and that it was his fault and he misses you, all ring true.
However, he did lie when he left you. Saying he didn't want to be in a relationship but then started something new with the other girl (with lots of problems).
He probably regrets everything, realises it was his fault you're not together anymore. He also knows you forgive him as you told him as much, but he is not pursuing it further.
I don't think it's games, I think it's regret and wondering what-if.
The question is, how do you feel? Do you still have feelings for him, and if given the choice, do you want him back? If so, then share that with your friend, or your ex-boyfriend when you see him again. You can say you are aware he is sorry, that you know he misses you, does he want to try again? If yes, you must always be ready for if he repeats the same thing, or if he really learnt his lesson, he will show his remorse and spend the rest of his life showing how sorry he is, by making you happy. Perhaps he feels having been the one to err and walk away, he can't now open the possibility, so if it's something you want, I would suggest you help him along.
If however, you don't feel that way anymore, or your heart can't take more heartbreak, then acknowledge his being sorry, continue saying how you have forgiven him and be his friend, but don't give your heart away again. He had it once and gave it away, so now it's up to you to protect it, or share it, or give it to him once again.
You will know what to do, based on how you feel, and your feelings for him. From what I've read, I don't see any red flags, except his past behaviour, which if he really truly does regret, will surely not repeat.
Good luck and I wish you the happiness you deserve!
xxxx E
...............................
|
