A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi there. i broke up with my ex about 3 weeks ago due to him having feelings for this other girl. for the past 3 weeks we have been keeping in touch and he still told me that he loved me. however he has just started going out with this new girl(the one he had feelings for) and I'm finding it really hard to accept! I'm just shocked that he can move on so quick. We were together for almost a year and a half. Has anyone any tips on how I can get over this? It hurts me to think that I probably didnt mean that much to him....
View related questions:
broke up, move on, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 September 2009):
Feel sorry for the new girl. She's a rebound. However, he doens't love you (sorry), so don't sit there thinking about him. He's not thinking of you at all. Get out there with your friends and have fun! Keep busy! Find a new hobby or something!!! Anything that will keep you thinking of him. When you do, remember that he hurt you and therefore isn't the guy for you. Give yourself time to heal, then, when you're ready, find a great guy who you'll mean the world too! Lots of luck.
A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents  +, writes (29 September 2009):
 Only time will heal this would. Obviously, this guy doesn't love you, and so there is no logical reason for you to want to be with him. However, you shared a year and half of memories and bonding in the belief that you are in a together-forever sort of deal, so it will take time for your heart to catch up with the logic of letting go of this. Your mind already knows it, but your heart is traumatized and it can't accept it yet. Again, it takes time to heal. I'm not going to tell you how you should feel, it is a moot point to tell someone whose heart is being broken, how to feel. But I will say that it would help if you could direct your heart where you know it needs to be, by telling yourself that in your situation you should not be crying over him, instead you should be angry at him for hurting you, and allow yourself to move on as quickly as possible. Do not wallow. Do not isolate. Surround yourself with people, and activities to get your mind off him, and to begin building positive memories *without* him, to replace the pain of losing the positive memories you had *with* him. And never forget the most important memory of all, at the end when all was said and done in this relationship. The memory of him cruelly breaking your heart.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): well this happened to me and the way I look at it, if he was with you and told you he cared about you and then went off and did this then its one of two things, he either lied to you or he is lying to himself, in any case he tells lies and who wants someone who cant just tell the truth.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2009): This sucks =[ I am going through the same thing with my GF. I am trying to ignore it all and occupy myself with things so i dont think about it.. GOing out with mates also helps..
...............................
A
female
reader, hollistergirl2010 +, writes (29 September 2009):
sweetheart; just take things one day at a time. That is all you can do at this point. You cannot change how he feels about this other girl. There really is no explanation on how someone moves on so fast, maybe he was just wanting to date around and see how things go with this other girl. For all you know things will not work out and he will come back. Don't wait around for him because that will show him that he has a grip on you...instead...date around and have fun.. forget about him. Being friends might be the best choice for now.
...............................
|
