A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy awhile ago at a friend's party. I was a little drunk, but my friend came up to me and told me this guy thought I was beautiful. So I walked right up to him and gave him a kiss on the check. We talked and he asked for my number, and we kissed for a few minutes. As I was leaving with my friends, he followed and told me he wished I didn't have to leave already and he gave me a few kisses goodnight. He called 4 days later, and twice before our date that Saturday. We had a great time, and talked for two hours and I thought we really clicked. We went to a movie and he held my hand through most of it. He walked me home and I showed him my apartment, introduced him to my roommate. We stood within the doorway of my room and we kissed a lot. He said he wanted to see more of me, and if I minded going on another date the following Tuesday. He told me he would call me to make plans, but if we didn't go out that week, he would call to arrange another time to see me (he was having minor surgery on Friday). Before he left to catch the bus, he turned around and gave me one more kiss before walking out the door. He never called. I texted him that Thursday to say that I wished we had hung out that week, but to call me when he felt better. He texted back and said he would definitely call me when he recovered. That was two months ago. I didn't call him because I'm stubborn, and as time passed, it just seemed obvious that he wasn't interested. A week ago, I saw him at another party. He and his friends kept sneaking glances at me, but he didn't come up to me. My friend took it upon herself to go up to him and tell him he was a jerk for leading me on and then dropping off the face of the earth, and that he should apologize to me. He agreed. He walked over and we made some small talk, he seemed really nervous and took me aside. He told me that he didn't feel a "connection" with me and he didn't know how to tell me, so he just didn't call. And that he was sorry he treated me the way he did and that he didn't mean to be an asshole. But he thought I was a very beautiful girl and that he had a great time. My pride was hurt anyway, and I felt angry even though I accepted his apology, so out of spite, I told him that I was never that into him either. He had a pained look on his face, but it disappeared and we talked and shared a couple cigarettes. His friend walked over and we all talked some more. The guy then excused himself to the bathroom and didn't come back over for the rest of the party.What the hell happened? There was no indication throughout the entire date that he didn't like me. It was a 5 and a half hour date!It makes no sense. Did he just loose interest?My other friend told me that because he's an Aquarius, that he was testing me, or trying to get me to tell him that I really liked him and was upset that he never called. But that isn't rational! Who does that? I would really love a male's perspective on this. It's driving me crazy because its like an awful puzzle I can't solve.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009): Honey you are blowing this out of proportion and over-analyzing this. It was just one date. People go on a date to see if there is interest or connection. He may have had a perfectly nice time with you but just not felt that connection that made him want to go further. Haven't you ever been on a date with a great nice guy you just didn't really feel it for? ALL guys try to give their best out on a date in hopes it will go well. All guys say they will call. That means nothing. Men are serious cowards when it comes to telling a woman something negative. They fear upsetting you or hurting your feelings so much that they just avoid an awkward situation at all costs. There's no relationship or contract after one date. He's free to do what he wants. I don't think you have any right to be angry with this guy. I mean if he led you on for a few months or something sure. Or if he made plans then stood you up. Honey you need to stop obsessing over one date that happened 2 months ago. Yes it sucks when you like someone who doesn't like you back. But that's dating. Forget this guy and move on to men who are into you.
A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (27 December 2009):
I know you want a guy's opinion, but try buy this book called "he's just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt. It will help you deal with these type of situations.
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