A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend are having problems at the minute. We keep arguing about stupid little things, and I always get upset and start crying.When I do this, it's like he doesn't care. He won't hug me, or anything like that, he just blanks it out. It feels as if he doesn't care.I even got to the point where I ended it this morning I was that frustrated but we sorted it out and things are ok; for the moment.Whenever I text him, he doesn't text back for ages and when he finally does he says he 'lost track of time' playing a computer game or something. This makes me feel like he forgets about me, in a way. I know it may sound silly, but it really bothers me.We've only been together almost 4 months, and I have such strong feelings for him. He's pretty much the guy version of myself, and I know he feels the same, I really don't want this to end. But what can I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2009): You should try not contacting him for a while, just pretend he doesn't exist. See how long it takes him to try to get a hold of you. If it takes him a while maybe that is your cue to leave, because he is probably "just not that into you".
But, if he takes a short duration of time to get a hold of you, just give him a taste of his own medicine, and take a while to reply back to him.
You can either leave him or "play his game".
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (18 January 2009):
 It sounds like he's just not that into you. It doesn't mean he won't eventually be there, you just arrived there first. Men usually take longer to develop lasting feelings for a woman, whereas we tend to develop them rather quickly. I would try being a little less open about your feelings, be a little more distant occasionally, and yes, take more time to get back when him because it'll make you seem more interesting (like you have more going on in your life than just him) and this may make you seem more like a "prize" he must work at to achieve. It would be nice not to have to play all these games, but unfortunately life is not that simple. If you seem a little less detached, you may get different results. Some of what he's doing may be a way to control the relationship. Don't let him do that! Just be more non-challant about your whole relationship and never let him see you cry anymore. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, newbie  +, writes (18 January 2009):
You can leave or play his game. By playing his game I mean treat him how he treats you. When he text you u take ages to text back, dont call him so much and dont seem so needy. You give him the cold shoulder and and nonchalant attitude. But the only thing about game playing is that it is continuous. If he starts to respond to your new behavior the way you would like him to respond then thats the type of women he likes and that would not be you being true to who u really are. So I say leave but you could give game playing a shot. But be prepared for the worst because if he doesn't not respond then that is a sure sign to MOVE ON!!! I know its easier than said than done but just keep in mind that you are worth more than he is able to give you.
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A
female
reader, shiraz +, writes (18 January 2009):
it seems that even when your 'ok' the times when your not are still on your mind and thats a problem as it will affect what you have. its normal to argue and sometimes guys dont know how to react when a girl crys they feel uncomfortable and guilty and it might seem like hes blanking you but it may be he just doensnt know what to do! you need to sort it out as your relationship is slowly getting worse, arguments increasing is never a good thing but as long as you have that love your both putting in you should come through this together. you need to have the make or break talk, put everything on the table, tell him how your really feeling and that your bringing it up in order to save your relationship as you feel a lot for him and want this to work but you feel at the rate its going its ending and thats not what you want.
if your so similar then the way you recepricate things may also be the same. word it right and be honest with him, try not to cry! i think the crying issue is minnor to the actual relationship problems, focus on the bigger issues first such as communication then move to the others. work at the together, with the support and guidance of each other it should work but you need both inputs in order to achieve a future. best of luck xxx
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