A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a single father raising two kids, and was in a relationship with there mother for 16 yrs. It ended real bad, anyway the kids are my life, I'm very busy with them on top of working. I have tried to move on and have been dating for about 3 months it's been good, other than she has become very clingy and at this time I'm not ready for that. Also she has kids herself and to be totally honest I'm wanting to get mine raised and not have to take care of more. I love kids but mine are my main priority. I'm feeling crowded and being pushed, I'm not sure how to tell her I need a break and not wanting to be committed at this time .
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): First of all who initiated the relationship you or her? Was there a reason why you thought she may have been clingy? Were you clingy in return? There must have been a reason why you both met and had feelings for each other. You stated the relationship of your childrens mother ended badly. Why would you go and lead someone else on knowing all of this? What did you expect from starting a new relationship? If you ask me its nothing but excuses.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): "I love kids but mine are my main priority. I'm feeling crowded and being pushed, I'm not sure how to tell her I need a break and not wanting to be committed at this time ."
Tell her "I love kids but mine are my main priority. I'm feeling crowded and being pushed, I need a break and don't want to be committed at this time for my kids' sake."
Shame on you for bringing a total stranger into your children's lives so soon after their home was broken up out from under them, but you deserve credit for realizing your mistake. Now fix it!
Your kids have suffered enough trauma witnessing their parents' messy break-up and its (I'm sure) mud-slinging aftermath. Put THEM first above your love life, you can get by without getting laid for a few years while devoting all your energies to being the good father they so desperately need at this extremely difficult time in all your lives. Good luck and best wishes.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (28 May 2012):
 Hi
I was in your situation and learnt to make it clear from the outset that kids came first. I didnt want more,or somebody elses on top. It wasnt being harsh,it was just how I was,take or leave it. The last thing you need is a clingy girlfriend when your time is already booked with your day to day commitments.
Just tell her,kindly but firmly how you see things going in your life. Tell her you like her,enjoy her company but are giving her the chance to let go and move on.Do it soon as so she doesnt feel mislead by you.At least if your honest she knows where she stands.Its not a break but a different scenario you need.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): You should just tell her that you're not ready for more commitment. Clingy girlfriends - whether or not you have kids, or she does - are just not going to be good news for a relationship anyway, such women will suffocate you regardless of even if you didn't have any kids that also need your time and attention.
If she really wants a man to take care of her, then you're not the right guy for her either. So you owe it to her to explain to her honestly how you feel.
Then make sure that you draw clearer boundaries next time with the next woman you date and are not giving the wrong impression to anyone about what your intentions are.
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A
female
reader, Pretty and proud +, writes (28 May 2012):
 Relationships sometimes just happen but kids come first, you need to make a choice, if this woman makes you happy and is nice to your kids then go for it. But if you feel that strong about being alone, don't make Her feel she has to wait for you to be ready, if she is someone you love and your not willing to take the "plunge" then it is your loss if she moves on. But you do need to think about what makes you happy as well.
Good luck x
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