A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:In the past year I've started seeing a boy that my family and peers looked down upon. They hated his guts. But I loved everything about this guy. He had all the qualities i was looking for. When we met I wasnt looking for love. I stumbled upon him. It must have been fate right? no. My entire family hated him and never let me see him becasue of rumors they heard, We stopped seeing eachother because the stress and hatred was too much. I started dating an old friend that I was very close to. I'm happy with this new guy. But it seems like every other day I find something unattractive about him, something I hate. But then again I like him enough I communicate with him an let him know what I'm feeling. We work things out an life moves on. But I constantly find my self staring at my ex(the guy I stumbled upon) I find my self reminiscing an wishing things wouldve worked out. I find my self getting mad when I see him with other girls. I constanly find myself comparing my ex with my new guy. Am i still I love with my ex? What's happening? How do I get those old feeling to go away?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): "In the past year I've started seeing a boy that my family and peers looked down upon. They hated his guts. But I loved everything about this guy. He had all the qualities i was looking for."
Likely translation: Ex is a charming manipulative con-artist deadbeat loser who fawns over you, flatters you, and tells you everything you want to hear, so you prefer to believe what he SAYS over what he DOES whenever his actions contradict his words, which is always.
Your family and friends (who have your best interests at heart, not his) see him for the scumbag he is because they judge him by his actions and therefore believe what he DOES over what he SAYS whenever his actions contradict his words, which is always.
"Am i still I love with my ex? What's happening? How do I get those old feeling to go away?"
No, ex still has a hold on you because you refuse to accept reality for what it is, reality. The "old feelings" will "go away" when you wise up and start respecting yourself and realize that your family and friends were right and you were wrong all along, hopefully before you go back to ex and he knocks you up with a kid you'll end up raising all by yourself after he dumps you because you're no fun anymore tied down with a kid he doesn't want.
A
female
reader, CatalinMaura +, writes (28 May 2012):
The exact same thing happened to me, I swear. I became friends with a guy who became the best friend anyone has ever been to me. I wasn't looking for love, but there he was. We were the best of friends and he was not the stereotypical guy. He was sweet and charming and had morals and beliefs that had my respect for him sky high. And we fell in love. But, something happened where I we stopped talking and I think it was because I denied to tell my parents about him, knowing they'd disapprove.I began to miss him like hell. Being with other guys became almost impossible because I kept comparing them to him.But, I realized, sitting around and missing him was holding me back and getting me nowhere. So, you need to decide, is your love for your ex so strong and worth fighting for, or is it so strong that you know, if you let it go, he'll come back because he is truly yours.I didn't know. So, I decided to let him go, and the wieght off my shoulders was incredible. Of course I miss him, but I needed to accept fate was not in my hands and I need to allow myself happiness until fate decides to act. I hope I could help.
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