A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. My question is: is there ever anything good about a single childless woman who doesn't plan to have kids having a relationship with a divorced guy with kids? Or is it always just bad? I've read a lot about the negatives, does anyone know if there are positives? And if there are, what do you look for before committing?
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male
reader, Serpico  +, writes (3 March 2013):
Of course its ok, but I warn you about the following - how ever many kids he has, add one to that number- that is the number you come in. Further, living with someone elses children typically has all of the downsides of parenting (costs, time, annoyances, etc), but you dont get any of the upside of them being your own. Yes, its a shitty deal, but you are choosing it. I personally wouldnt do it, but to each their own.
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (2 March 2013):
 I can tell you from experience that the children always always come first and that can be very diificult to deal with. There also is constant baby mama drama and demands for money. Given my time again I would never date or marry any man unless his children are grown up and most importantly have left home.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2013): If they are over 21 and live with the mother or elsewhere. Not ideal situation if you don't want kids, why come 2nd to somebody elses
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 March 2013):
 There are single fathers who will say, "I don't want more kids and I am not looking for a mother for my children," meaning that his ex will be the only one mothering her kids. So you could be a match for such men.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 March 2013):
 A single childless woman who does not plan to have kids probably does not like children or is not a motherly type or wants to focus only on her career... anyway, whatever is it what will keep her childless , she has decided she will be happier without children underfeet.
So what would be the point of having to become a step parent and be frequently around children- which aren't even yours ?
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 March 2013):
 How old are the kids? How is the custody set up? Was it a particularly nasty divorce or more amicable?
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (1 March 2013):
 My 2 coworkers that I work with closely both are with men that have children. Even though they too have children of their own, neither one are thrilled about dating men that have children. The kids always come first. If you're willing to accept that, by all means, go ahead.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (1 March 2013):
 IF you don't want to parent then I would NOT commit to a man with children until the children are grown.
My husband does not want children. He never did. He's now a stepdad but his stepkids are 26 and 28 and when we visit my kids the guys are all drinking beer together...
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