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male
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anonymous
writes: Why can't I get sexually excited about the girl I fancy so much?I'm crazy about this girl I have known for years. I can't describe the attraction that I have/ we have. It's like we are brother and sister or something. I think about her all the team and idolise her. She feels the same way. We have the strangest bond. We can hug and cuddle naked and talk about anything but nothing sexual has happened. I think i'm too scared to get involved. I'm recently divorced and know that this girl could hurt me. I think she'd lose interest in me and is just infatuated at the moment. She deserves more than I can give her. She keeps telling me that she's totally in love and loves everything about me but I can't see what she sees in me. I'm confused.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2006): You may indeed be worried about spoiling this amazing bond by introducing sex into it (although cuddling naked comes precariously close anyway). It's fine to be a little wary, especially right after a divorce. If it isn't killing her, feel free to wait for the time when you feel comfortable going further. It sounds like you're both already very intimate anyway, which will make the sex (when it happens) easier.
If you're feeling down on yourself, and she's a sincere booster, spend time around her - it'll do wonders for your self-esteem, especially if you're still reeling from your split. People are often unnecessarily harsh on themselves. A devoted fan club is something anyone can use after a break-up.
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