A
female
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anonymous
writes:i think that id rather end up happy on my own with great friends and a full life then become so obsessedwith marriage and finding Mr Right il end up with some 1 i dont really love just 4 the sake of it.im more than open to a relationship but with the right guy i want to be with not because ive been made feel i NEED a boyfriend to be happy.so many of my friends are obsessed with not being left on the shelf they spend all their time trying to mould these guys into something their never gonna be and trying to change relationships into what they want!am i wrong to think nobody changes 4 anyone but themselves and if a relationship has never made you happy your wasting your time trying to bend and shape it into something else! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Toria +, writes (22 September 2006):
 All the time you are looking for that 'one' you will never find them as you look at everyone as being a candidate for that position, no you can't change someone and mould them into what you want them to be they have to be themselves and if that isn't what you want them to be then let them go so they are open to be with someone that does love them for them, who they are, without any changes needed, you need to get on with your life and concentrate on what you have got in it instead of dwelling on whats missing, don't close your heart and mind to eventually finding that one for you as when you least expect it that person will just be there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh i totally dont mean that they should be perfect i have no ideal man or woman i just get to know people usually before i get involved with them and i know if i like them or not my main thing is they have to just be themselves because i cant be anything but myself i pick up fakness a mile away and never feel comfortable around people like that!
dont get me wrong i understand why people feel they have to pretend to be something their not!
hell my inability to pretend has gotten me hurt but i wouldnt change it 4 the world!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2006): You are one of the wisest women who's posted on here. Don't let anyone sway you from your beliefs, because they are bang-on.
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A
female
reader, Raen +, writes (21 September 2006):
I hear you – usually if you’re a woman nearing her late 20’s, early 30’s, it’s like your friends and family decide that NOW it’s ok to bug you about “settling down”. And yes, if you’re not happy with a partner, then no, it’s not worth staying in a relationship just for the sake of being in one.
Just don’t be fooled into thinking that Mr./Ms. Perfect is your exact replica with some minor differences. Personally, I'm finding that a successful relationship is more about compromise then about changing yourself or your partner.
I think it's highly unlikely that you'll find someone that likes all the same things that you do and who you would be a perfect fit with and never have disagreements on what you like versus what they like. It'd probably be boring.
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