A
male
age
36-40,
*ifecycle
writes:Hi, my ex girlfriend and I had been together for 3 and a half years, and about a year ago we went through a "near breakup" because of the way we treated eachother. Since then it never quite felt the same, even though I did still want to be with her and her with me. So, a year on, the same thing happens, only this time she breaks up with me and says she just doesn't have *them* affectionate feelings for me anymore, although she says she still loves me and cares alot about me. I told her I dont like the thought of not seeing her anymore, and she said the same. We hugged and kissed each other on the neck, told eachother we love each other and thats it.Problem is I took the news quite well I think, I talked about it with her, said that I'd like to think once all the pressure and confusion has gone, who knows what could happen. She said she cant rule out anything as she doesnt know what the future holds, but she was very clear its not a "break" and its over. I've been abit wierd since, we saw each other all the time, in the week and most weekends fri, sat and sun. I know I miss her, and I do want to be with her, but im wondering why I dont feel *really* bad and why im not completely breaking down? Any advice would be welcomed. Thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): I dont no hunny but if you need to chat at anytime while you are going through this period of pain then message me and we will try and get you sorted and back to yourself, Ive had 3 divorces I still dont know how to spell it thats right I think, And even though it was me who left I went through a grieving period well of one of them the other two could eat my shorts :) cheer up abit love you will get through this I promise TAKE CARE LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXX
A
male
reader, lifecycle +, writes (26 February 2008):
lifecycle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reply Mandy. I think your right, at the moment im trying to tell myself that it is over rather then the feeling that I want to feel which is that she may realise what we had was special, and want to give it another go. I mean we've never had real time apart in our relationship, and she was very confused for 2-3 weeks about what she wanted but we kept seeing eachother, and did have alot of fun. Now she's on her own and she's done the deed of breaking up with me. I guess all that pressure that she felt has gone, and maybe in time she will realise that she wants me, and wants to try again. Who knows.. am I kidding myself here? :-(
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): Hi Hunny
A breakup is like grieving and you will go through different stages, And my thought on this is that you are still in the stage she may come back, Do you feel a little numb? no real feelings yes you love her but its all kind of no feeling at the mo! My advise to you would be to take one day at a time and keep busy, And if any different feeling come in then you need to get on the ball to self help hunny if you need to chat sweetheart message me it is a grieving prosess and you may need futher advise but for now go with everyday and try to fill you days and nights with fun things to do..TAKE CARE OF WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, lifecycle +, writes (26 February 2008):
lifecycle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI didnt write a title, so its not entirely accurate. The general message is it is over, but she didnt completely rule out trying again in the future as she doesnt know how she will feel in the future. She said if she regrets breaking up in a few weeks or months, then we'll see. Although as I said, the general message was its over, this is not a break, its over...
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