A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my fience and i have been together for 5 years now he is always tired and doesn't want to have sex as much as i do. i am 20 and he is 23, we are too young for this to be happening. i try wearing sexy stuff, i keep myself clean, i always try to make him happy and satisfied. he likes to look at porn so do i, only difference is i like to watch it with him he likes to watch by himself. when i watch it with him i feel like he is turned off by me. a few years ago we lived with roommates, it's when i frist thoght that it turned him off to see me watch porn,one night they were all partying(i didn't feel like it, i didn't really know these people) he wouldn't come to bed ,when i got up to go to the bathroom i almost caught him kissing the girl that we lived with, later found out that he tried to have sex with her! i feel like it was my fault for partying with them, but really i felt like i had pushed him away watching porn.that was a while ago and we have moved on. but i feel like he is not satisfied with me. he has really hurt me(not to say that i never cheated on him but that is a whole other story);i feel like we are strangers living together out of fear of being alone, but i really truly love him i want to be with him until i am old and wrinkly you know. i just can't take not feeling wanted? help please what do i need to say to him to let him know how i feeling without sounding like i am blaming him for all of are problems. we can work it out i know because we love each other very much, how can i put the spark back in our bedroom(keep in mind that we have explored a lot there)thank you for taking the time to read this you are all wonderful people may god bless you all!!!
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kissing, porn, roommate, spark Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): sounds like your boyfriend is a sex addict...and no that doesn't mean you'll get laid all the time, if his particular penchant is porn, you won't get laid at all!!! He has a serious problem,not you. Go to npsupport.net and you will find support and answers to your questions. If he refuses to give up the masturbation while neglecting your need for physical contact, leave him. This is a very hard problem to overcome.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for the advice you are all amazing people!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): OH THAT LINK HAS GOT TONS OF STUFF ON THAT WONT APPLY TO EVERYTHING U WANT HUNNY PRESS ON LOVE AND THEN YOU WILL GET TO THE SEX HELP AND SPICING THINGS UP BIT!!!!!! Ive just got up love and prayers mandy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): Hi Hunny
You need to start again, remember the stuff you used to do not only in the bedroom but how the two of you had fun sweetheart, Talk with your fella tell him how much you love him and you start by doing little things to show it and make that change im sending you a link, There is an annoying little dude at the top of the page just keep closing him dont get stressed like ME!
you are both still young so there is plenty of time to sort this out a freash start is what is needed. And a good chat to clear all these sad feelings you are having
http://www.wnetwork.com/articles/health_spiritT1.asp?id=261
I hope this link helps you hunny YOU TAKE GOOD CARE OF EACHOTHER AND GOOD LUCK TO YOU WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (26 February 2008):
 Hi,
Sounds to me like he needs a little nudge to show just how fed up you are with the situation. If you have have cheated on him and he has done the same, its sounds like you are about even. I think the main point is that you are taking each other for granted, even though you feel its mostly him. I feel you need to get the stuff out in the open, because after all its not just the bedroom antics that suffer is it?. Is there any chance that you could get away for a while (maybe a short break together) and just talk about what you see as the problem. If you can sort out the root of where this is all coming from, maybe you can move ahead again.
If he will not discuss whats wrong, or refuses to do anything about it, then your only option is to leave him.
But as you say, you are both still in love, so I am sure it can be resolved. If you can just talk.
Good luck
XX
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): I'll be honest. To me it sounds like your boyfriend is bored or just not into this relationship at all. And you pressing these issues, and trying to talk it out or even just being in his face for any reason, is going to have the effect of pushing him away even more.As for the cheating, that is really unacceptable and you shouldn't forgive that sort of behavior. Sometimes when a guy feels like he can walk all over you and do anything he wants and you still won't leave him, sometimes it makes them lose interest. When you are way too much at their beck and call, like you are doing, then they take you for granted. They wonder if you have any sort of back bone. Cause they like that in a woman. But on the same token, any guy who would be so low as to test to see how much you'll put up with it is a complete waste of time himself. I just think you both are way too young. And I don't think it has anything to do with you two being afraid of being alone. I think it's just that you both really don't know any better. If either of you knew how much better you could do and how much better the world has to offer, I don't think either of you would be so apt to settle in this so-so relationship, which is way too far from perfect to ever happily work out, in my opinion. In fact, it sounds miserable. If I had to catch my love trying to kiss another girl in my own house?!? Just miserable. How dare he? I would much rather be alone and happy then have to put up with one more day of that kind of let-down and heartache.
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A
female
reader, bc2283  +, writes (26 February 2008):
you are too young to think like this and I'd love it if my gf watched porn with me- your a cool girl, leave him
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