A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok so i think my dad is cheating on my mom and she knows. I think this because i read a txt message that said "ever since ive told you i wasnt with her you've changed" also one night i heard a conversation involving "you were with her!" And "you call her and txt her!" And more so me and my big sis started crying and my mom said they were talking about the past and crap bt i dont trust them anymore. And i still hear things. I know i shouldnt get in this but it hurts me too. And i dont know how to know the truth. Please help. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 June 2013):
 It is pretty hurtful to stand on the sideline and watch two people you love destroy their marriage. I know because my Dad cheated on my mom and she knew too. She tried to yelling, the pretending it didn't happen, to threatening divorce and so forth. It was quite a hostile environment from time to time. Both my bother and I told her MANY times why NOT divorce him? Why stay and be treated this way? And my Mom would tell us that we wouldn't understand. To this day (30 years later) I still don't understand.
However, they DID sit us "kids" (we were both teens) down and talk about what was going on. And they DID do some couples counseling and I think my dad realized wtf he was about to lose just for some lady to rub his ego.
I would sit your mom down and even your dad and tell them how it affects you. Now you HAVE to remember this cheating is NOT about you, but it still AFFECTS you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2013): I am sorry you are having to deal with all of that. It does hurt because they are your parents. But please, please, please remember, this has nothing to do with you and your sister, or anything you or your sister did.
You could talk to both of your parents and express to them know how much all of this is scaring the two of you and how much it's hurting you. Get your feelings out, it's imporant. But you can't control or change what's going on because it is between the two of them. And you are not 100% sure what it is exactly, but I am sure you are probably right or in the ball park as kids can be pretty intuitive and girls/women have pretty good gut insticts as well.
And when that time comes for you to have a boyfriend (or now), you can use this outside experience and learn from it. You will not allow or tolerate a boy to cheat on you if you are in a committed relationship. Boys and men, including girls and women who cheat, will lie, blame and try to justify what they did. It doesn't make any difference because there are no reasons, justifications or blame for cheating. It's easy to do, it's cowardly, it hurts so many people and it's a very selfish thing to do to satisfy a temporary situation. And after all is said and done, the same issues and problems are still there.
You have to let the adults handle their adult problem/s. But you do have every right to let them know if it's affecting you or your sister. Don't shut down and bottle all this up. It will only makes things worse if you don't let them know. Sometimes parents need a smack upside the head to see another POV because they get too wrapped up in their own problems.
...............................
|
