A
female
age
30-35,
*rippy
writes:ok.. so I have a problem too.. I am 18 years old and I just finished my high school. Just when I was 15 years, 3 years ago, I started a relationship with my boyfriend, and everything went ok. He loved me so so so much and I loved him too. At that time I used to live with my father (as my parents are divorced) and when I went on holiday with my boyfriend my father said to me that he didn't want me to live with him after this( my boyfriend is a nice person, he studies a lot, has a nice family,now he goes to university abroad) and then I came to live with my mum. My family loves him a lot but he does not respect me and is jealous too much. He says to me terrible things, always is suspicious, wants always from me to stay at home and not go anywhere.. We have a history with him, it is not that simple to forget the times spent together, but I cannot live with the memories of the good old times, when the present is shit. When people don't have respect for each other I think that love flies away. Once you say a bad word to other, you cannot erase it.He says back to you, then you reply to him in the same way and it continues.. I am so sad as I haven't seen my father 2 years.. I miss my boyfriend but I don't want to argue with him anymore. There are times when I say to him "you are right" and stop arguing but it does not function all the time at that way. Now I am confused, I have other obligations about university, I have to work this summer 3 months, I have to success in life, but when it comes to this, I am so sad, so depressed, he makes me feel like I am a bad person, he makes me feel like I am worthless, like I do not know anything, like I am the worse thing that has happened in this planet. What should I do? should I continue with my life and forget him or should I try to be with him ??
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depressed, divorce, jealous, on holiday, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Sweetheart the fact that you are questioning the relationship in the first place seems to me like you already know the answer.
Why stay with someone in a relationship when you are getting nothing in return and to boot you are being made to feel worthless. That in my mind is not a relationship on an equal basis but one person bullying the other.
Relationships are about growing together as a couple and having common interests and love growing from that not about remembering the past when it was good.
If a relationship is miserable then something is terribly wrong and nothing will change unless you both want it to. Relationships are not always easy and you sometimes have to work at them but if only one person is putting all the effort in and the other is constantly finding fault then you need to walk away.
Concentrate on what you want out of life OK, do things that make you feel happy and tell your bf that unless he changes his ways then it is over.
You are young and having a boyfriend from the age of 15 is very young. We have to go through a few bad relationships to truly find one that is fantastic so you need to chalk this one up to experience and move forward with your life.
If you want your dad in your life then make contact with him even if that is by letter or email.
You are only here once so make the most out of your life.
Take care and here anytime.
BFN
Country Woman
A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Forget him.
Relationship is about lifting one another. To try to make the other feel good all the time (Fight happens though ...).
Having a BF is about sharing common dreams and goals. Not remembering good old times, but to plan, and do, new ones.
He looks like a good guy, but to me he needs to grow up. He needs to learn to trust people and himself. I don't think that he's ready for a relationship.
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