A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know if any of you girls feel the same, where it feels kind of wrong to make the first move? Whether it's hurting the guys ego or making you look easy... Can we make the first move? If you like the guy, you like the guy right? Sometimes I feel like wlaking up to them and kissing them, even if it's just minutes into the first date. But then I feel if I did that I would be percieved wrong, or like I said the guy feels like that's his job... What does everyone think about this?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2013): It is one thing to make the first move, it is another thing to walk up to a stranger and kiss them. Maybe people will like it, maybe his girlfriend will beat you to a pulp.
How would you like it a guy just came up to you and kissed you? And if you would like that, where were you when I was young?
A
male
reader, Illithid  +, writes (2 April 2013):
 My girl made the first move. Two years later, we're still together and quite happy. I was being oblivious (as men often are) and she needed to nudge me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013): OP as a guy I can say there's no problem with women making the first move for me, but there is a reason why most women prefer to be pursued, it's kind of safer plus it makes them feel more desired.
OP I don't care how ugly you are if I'm single and in the mood for a shag there's no chance I would stop you making a move or not play along. Your pussy is as good as any other if you're just going to throw it in my face. Most guys are quite easy in that way, if you offer yourself up to us we're not really going to refuse if we think you're going to be an easy lay. We don't even have to like you.
The danger of the woman making the moves and doing all the work is the guy may not even like you in the slightest but will still play along.
Now if all you want is casual sex then you won't find many guys who will refuse you that.
But how are you going to know if he likes you if he doesn't even have to do anything to get you? if he won't wine and dine you, if he won't take the time to get to know you?
It's nothing to do with our ego OP, shit, a woman who just needs us so badly she's too impatient for us to do anything is a nice ego boost.
But you can't trust that we're not just going along for the ride that way. By all means be the one to talk to him or approach him, flirt etc. By all means open that door and break the ice. But I always advise women to make guys work too. If he's too lazy to do anything, isn't making an effort then he's not interested he's just playing along.
It's not a matter of equality OP, it's not a matter of women being free to do as they please, of course you are. But a smart woman will test us guys properly before giving their heart to us. How can you know a guy is interested when we really don't have to be interested in anything but your pussy to kiss and cuddle you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2013): It all depends on the guy. Some guys like assertive or aggressive females. Some are intimidated by them. Some prefer to make the first move; and yes, ego comes into play.If you are a female with a strong personality; it wouldn't hurt to let the guy know that you are a very assertive type of person. I don't recommend that you be too aggressive; because some guys misread your intentions and treat you accordingly. You might get yourself into a situation that you can't handle.I will offer my advice according to your age, between 18-21.My guess is you're closer to 18, or you'd know the answer to your question. I don't recommend that you be too forceful with guys you've only recently met. Unfortunately; guys do judge you by how aggressive you are, and the response may not be the one you want. That is, if it's not the right type of guy for you.You are pretty young, and I'm hoping you'll learn more about men before you start assuming a sexually aggressive female personality within a peer group under 20. Be as strong a person as your personality requires. Just make sure that assertive behavior isn't just on a sexual level, that's where you approach men with caution. No matter how strong of a personality you may have; men are usually physically stronger. You don't want to get a guy too aroused; if you've only just met him. Even guys have to wait for cues from a female to decide what approach is appropriate.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (1 April 2013):
 I think it can be ok to make the first move but men do like to be the ones to do it. I generally go for being very flirty and basically setting it up for a kiss. Then the guy thinks he's made the first move when in reality you've pretty much done it! Men have egos - let them have this one!
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