A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Aunts and Uncles, I’m getting ready to “fly the nest” as a 25 year old woman with a BFA in Illustration. I have enough money saved up to last me 6 months should I fall on hard times. I have been semi-guaranteed at least part time in the city to which I’m moving. I would be leaving behind a full time job. My 30-year-old boyfriend of 4 years has a decent –paying job there and has been the apple of my eye for all his good traits. However, I need some reassurance.He has nudged me into the idea of moving in with him, and he’s right: it’s time for us to start building up to something more permanent. I can see him as an excellent husband and father. My issue is that I don’t feel certain of my ability to stand on my own. I keep dragging my feet, telling him “oh, I need to get my credit started”, or “hey, I still need to get some more money in savings”. Well, I still don’t feel comfortable, even with money saved up and the offer of my parents to help out if I need it. So I procrastinate. We’re looking at apartments now, and it freaks me out. I’ve never done ANY of this stuff before, and my folks (bless their souls) haven’t done much to help me understand independent living. Dad says I probably won’t make it very well “out there”, and wants me to stay at home longer. Mom is fine with me moving out but hasn’t offered any kind reassuring words. The boyfriend says, “Just do it! That’s what I did!”.So bills to pay, medical insurance to try and find, apartment, moving my stuff, cleaning out my old room…holy crap, I wish there was a checklist to cover everything. I don’t feel capable. Should I just put my two weeks in at the end of this week and just…do it? Just like that? Be done with the old job, spend a week uprooting, and then start looking for a new job? Oh, help!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 April 2013):
 I'm sure once you find a full time job that medical insurance will come with it.
Have you started job hunting in the area you are moving to?
You can build your credit while living with him. and you can save money while living with him.
He's right... 4 years it's time to move on or end it. no more dragging your feet.
you want a list:
http://www.wikihow.com/Move-Out-of-Home-Into-Your-First-Apartment
or a checklist:
http://www.squawkfox.com/2008/09/04/printable-first-apartment-essentials-checklist/
or
http://solorya.hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Move-Out-On-Your-Own-for-the-First-Time
Most of these things your boyfriend will have
the rest will come with time....
Talk to your boyfriend
Pick a date for final move in
if you have vacation time at work take it before hand and use it to get used to the new place and hunt for a job
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (1 April 2013):
 Why can't you look for a new job before you move? Take a week off work, stay at the boyfriend's place and do a really diligent job hunt? Obviously, you will have done your homework beforehand and have interviews lined up and all that…
Try that first and see if you can't land a good job before moving?
P.S. The rest of it is all do-able, just take it one baby step at a time. If you look at it as individual tasks to be done, rather than as a giant mountain of obstacles, you'll get through it.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, R1  +, writes (1 April 2013):
 I say go for it! You sound like you've thought it through and aren't just making a rash decision. As they say you only regret the things you don't do! :)
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