A
female
age
36-40,
*lexia846
writes:Hello guys I was wondering if I could get some advice. I am falling into a deep deep depression and I cant seem to snap out of it. For the last year i have been a mess (i broke up with my emotionally abusive bf) and finished graduate school but i still feel worse than ever. I'm 24 with a graduate degree but I hate myself, it feels never "enough". People say i am gorgeous but i dont care, Im so miserable inside, nothing is working for me. I am looking for a job and not finding one (i need one for a graduate level). I am trying to go to the gym to loose the weight i gained but i have no energy . ALL I want to do is sleep and eat. I feel so low, I feel like my world is so empty and dark. It feels so lonely and silent. I've tried to go on dates too but its pointless. The man i fell in love with a couple of months ago is taken.. seems like nothing is working, why am i chasing validation,??? and love and i dont seem to find it anywhere. I have these fancy degrees, and these great looks and personality but for what? I am misarable, and i have no energy to change. It feels like I am daydreaming my life away, of some prince charming to come and breathe this love in my soul. I just feel so so empty, and i dont even go out because I have gained weight and i just cant look at myself anymore. I feel like nothing i do is ever good enough.. I have spend thousadns of dollars prepping my apperance with degrees makeup clothes, beauty, and it has not gotten me any satisfaction..NOTHING. and the man that was impressed by me is taken.. AND the man that I loved bruised me so badly mentally... I just dont get it its a neverending cycle i just want to be loved so badly. Please someonhehehe advice? I am on prozac but it help and do not have money for therapy.. I feel like there is nothing to look foward.. who needs degrees, and looks when you cant see or appreaciate it at the end of the day or even see it..Ps I am not wanting to self harm I just wanted to know if anyone has felt empty and with absolutely no energy or motivation..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2011): When I lost a friend of mine and I'd taken time to resign myself to it. I tried to act my way out. I mean literally by forcing myself out of bed in the morning, then forcing myself to get out the house. I didn't think from then on, I just acted. Some people say loving yourself starts by listing the things you like about yourself, but that didn't work for me. I just forced myself to take up new hobbies, not the gym, because I found myself getting stuck in a cycle. It didn't involve learning, so when running I just found myself thinking back on what I'd done wrong. I first just picked something at random; just some martial arts. Whether it was finding videos online or going to classes, learning things seemed to do it for me. It also improved my physical fitness, therefore benefitting my emotional and mental state too.When I knew a lot, I moved to kick-boxing and more demanding exercise. I'm not sure how it works for others, but for me it made things that little bit easier.
A
female
reader, alexia846 +, writes (18 March 2011):
alexia846 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for the feedback any advice on the changes that you took? or the small steps you took? i am trying really hard to change and trying to love myslef..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2011): You're definitely not alone. So many people go these stages in life; and the causes are endless. The thing is, the majority of these people probably haven't got the degrees to fall back on. Think of them as a safety net; when you're ready to move on, they'll be there. If I were you, I wouldn't focus on dates right now. If you feel unmotivated or vulnerable, it's not going to help anything. Just concentrate on yourself; forget everything else, just for a while. If you want to be loved, you're the only one who can make that happen. Love yourself and people will love you back. I know it's so much harder than it looks, trust me; I've been there. So many of us have been abused by others, I for one used to dream but felt so powerless in real life, too. I gave myself time to remember anything, absolutely anything, that was good and try and hold on to that. I filed my thoughts away into things that I could change, and things I couldn't. That seemed to help me come to terms with every bad thing I'd done and had been done to me, and resign myself to it. The things I could change, I tried my best to alter; but only when I felt ready. If there's one thing that I really should say, it's give yourself some time to get back on your feet. It just takes small steps, but you can't rely on any man to help you recover; it has to come from you.
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