A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have just got back together after we broke up for about a year after i lost our baby, which really ripped us apart. We tried to stay together but we just couldn't. My mum even paid for us to go to spain for 2 weeks to try save our relationship but we just fought the whole time. Anyway when i saw him a few months ago, after we would always try to avoid each other, he told me he was in another relationship with a girl he knew from his uni days, but brought me a drink and we talked about everything, why the relationsip wouldn't of worked and why it was best we broke up. But we started to see more and more of each other, and in the end, we just gave into our feelings and got back together. When i asked him about a week or so ago about his now ex girlfriend from uni, he said they'd been together about 8 months, which was only a few weeks after we broke up, which lead to him admitting that he was with her when we were trying to save our relationship, saying that he knew we were on our way out and she was there to listen to him about the lost of the baby. It feels like he's cheated on me and the baby we lost, we're fighting like we were before we broke up the first time, and he said that if we tried for another baby it would solve all our problems, but i'm still not fully over losing the first baby. Can someone help me, with so many things, is the relationship worth saving? Is it normal to still think about what could of been?
View related questions:
broke up, cheated on me, ex girlfriend, got back together Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (23 May 2008):
 Sometimes, when something as tragic as the death of a child happens, the last person you can talk to about it is the very person you should be talking to. Should your boyfriend have gone running off to another girl to talk about the loss of your child? No. Can I understand why he did? Yes. I think it's hard for guys in that situation in that most people just expect him to be strong for the woman and not to show his feelings. Maybe with this girl he felt like he had escaped that convention and could grieve properly and sometimes grief shows itself in strange ways. Forget his past mistakes if you want to be with him. You can't be happy until you do... but don't have another baby, at least not until you're fully confident in the fact that your relationship is unbreakable.
Cat
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2008): Having a relationship where your always arguing is extremely difficult, so difficult, that having a shoulder to lean on is easily accepted.
First thing you need to decide is the bickering worth it? Is it just being petty, or are they important aspects of the relationship that need to be met by the other?
If you can't get over the current issues, bringing in a child is the dumbest thing you both could do. Understand, compromise and come to a mutual agreement over these issues or break up once and for all.
He sounds a bit unreliable.
...............................
|
