A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend has 2 children - he is a very hands on dad which is brilliant. His ex is seeing someone else and she seems ok and I know he is besotted with me. However, when they argue, he always comes running to me and tells me everything. Then the next day, its forgotten about. He mentions her when he comes to my house and moans a little. He is friends with her on fb. Should I read anything into this? It drives me insane when he mentions her!Thanks x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2011): If they remain friends on FB then their fights cant be too serious. If you are concerned that he is using you to dump his frustrations on. Tell him so and explain that you have had enough of it. My partner was the same with his ex. They would have a couple of good days then squabble in a very childish way over the silliest of things. It turned out they just couldnt move on from each other. It took 3 years for them to do so and finally behave like adults. Hopefully your partner and his ex will eventually do the same. Until then, just explain that you dont want to hear about their fights all the time. They are still too emotionally involved and until that ends, im afraid they will fight.
A
female
reader, bluecow +, writes (14 December 2011):
 oh dear...
He has baggage. He has 2 children and also an ex he can never avoid due to the kids. He will always have a relationship with her (not romantic or sexual).
She isnt a threat to your relationsip, however she will ALWAYS be in the picture, can you accept that?
The only external threat to your relationship are his kids. IF they are young (not late teens or older), then when you meet them you have a responsibility too. Noone likes a wicked stepmother, so try to be a good fairy instead. If his kids dislike you for a long time (its normal in the early stages), then its probable that he will chose them over you.
When he argues with his ex, he needs someone to support him and vent out his frustrations. You are that person. You are the person he trusts to be at his most vulnerable with whilst he vents. As his girlfriend you have to decide whether you can deal with this. If not, then he isnt the man for you.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (14 December 2011):
 I wouldn't read anything into it as I don't see her as a threat to your relationship (from what you've described), but it is intruding upon your boundaries.
He should not be sharing details of his squabbles with you.
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