A
female
age
30-35,
*uffdragon89
writes:I really don't know where to begin but my boyfriend does things to me in my sleep, for example last night he wrapped my hair around his penis and started masterbating. He also puts his hand down my pj's and feels around but I don't let him achieve anything. during the whole process he doesn't know he's woken me up. i really don't know how to feel about all this and i really don't know what to do about it. it kinda creeps me out and i really dont like him doing all those things but how do i tell him without hurting his feelings???Please help xx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, puffdragon89 +, writes (7 February 2010):
puffdragon89 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your replies. I decided to go ahead with Jannipeg and Dr.LanceMerryweather advice and its done the trick. It turns out it was just harmless what he was doing. it also turns out that i was in thw wrong too, i thought he was using my hair to masterbate he infact was playing with it because he knows i like it.
A
female
reader, ~Maureen  +, writes (6 February 2010):
Why are you sleeping with a man who you are not married to? He is using you and so he figures that you are an object, quite like a plastic doll. Or he has a rape fantasy (which is why he waits for your sleep so you cannot give consent which may mean he has hidden anger towards women...
Regain your dignity, dear, and flee from this weirdo. Your gut response has told you it is all wrong for you. Listen to your instincts.
God Bless.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 February 2010):
 Tell him you feel like you are being preyed upon. He might have a hair fetish or "I want to do stuff to my sleeping girlfriend" fetish. You only told us what he did to you one time. Only you could tell if his fetish is pathological. Like, if he could not be aroused without having to play with your hair, and messing you when you are sleeping, then I would be concerned. If it's just something innocent, I would not worry too much. Do tell him what you like him to do, and what makes you happy.
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A
female
reader, puffyfluffy +, writes (6 February 2010):
you need to leave him because that is not normal and he is takeing you as an object. you dont need to tell him about that he creeps you out, just tell him one day that things arent working out, wait when you guys have an argument to do that. to be on the safe side. it sounds to be that he is not normal and needs help.and an abuser. end it as soon as possibe.
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A
male
reader, Dr.LanceMerryweather +, writes (6 February 2010):
 Maybe you make him feel ill at ease about doing things when you're awake, so he resorts to doing things while he thinks you're asleep. Let him know that it's alright to discuss and do things - together.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 February 2010):
Erm, not to put a fine point on it, but why have you not dumped him. Seriously, it's clear he has no respect for you if he's wrapping you hair around his penis and starts to masturbate. He's just abusing you. This is how women end up being abused in relationships. You'd be safer to just leave him.
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