A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:this passing weekend...i went over to a friend's house....i had met him before and was very attracted to him, he was very nice to me and everything(this was 3 weeks back)the day before this friday...he told me that he wanted to have sex with me badly...i also wanted to have sex with him...so i planned to go to his house for the wknd, and i did from friday til saturdaythe very first thing that happened was that we had started having sex...during sex i started feeling this really irritating pain in my vagina, i assumed it was my cervix....this happened every time he would go deeper inside of me, i knew what the problem was, he was hitting my cervix and was hitting it hard. so the sex was unenjoyable. i had sex with him four times that day. the first two times he wore a condom, the other two times he didnt at the beginning of it, and then when he was going to cum he would use the condom...so we had unprotected sex. the first time i had sex with him i anticipated the pain, so i was not mad about it, or that uncomfortable. but the the three times after that, every time i told him to slow down or be gentle because it hurt, he would hear me but would not comply, he would say something like hold on im just about to cum, and he would thrust against me harder until he came, this was unbearable. every time i would say stop he wouldn't pay attention to the fact that what he was doing was putting me in pain.i already told him that i had lost my virginity in the may of this year, and that after that had only one sex partner...so he knew that i wasn't experienced. over and over i would tell him to slow down and he wouldn't listen me. he came every time we had sex, and i didn't cum at all, i was not enjoying it,i left sex unsatisfied and in pain. i felt ignored and disrespected and used. he would not take my pain and uncomfort seriously. he just kept thrusting at the same speed either times and would not acknowledge my wishes. the fifth time that we had sex)(the next morning, he started getting mad at me, because i would not stay in position from doggy style, but that was only because he was thrusting at me so hard, that i couldn't stay upright enough. he said to me ''your not staying in position, your pissing me off now" then i said "i cant because every time you do this it hurts me alot" he then said to me"fine forget it then" and we stoppedi got up and started packing and getting ready to go home, i felt so frustrated because he was enjoying the sex the whole entire time whilst ignoring my pain, every time i said to slow down he was the one who was pissed off,even though he was getting all the benefits? when i was at his house for the last half hour i started to pee and it burned inside my vagina. it hurts alot, for the past few days now, i have been feeling burning in my vagina every time i pee, i am soo scared right now, and im afraid...someone please help mei am emotionally frustrated and hurt because i felt ignored and used instead of him understanding and listening to me,i am so depressed and unsure what to do. i cant put into words how he has humiliated, embarrassed and dehumanized me, and treated me like i was only a vagina, his play thing, im sooo messed up right now...i need some genuine nonjudgmental advice right now because im soo afraid im cryingthe last time i peed which was only ten minutes ago, i felt burning and discomfort....and when i wiped myself i saw a redish nd brownish colour almost like i was bleeding then i wiped myself again and there was a little bit of blood...someone please tell me wats wrong with me...im so afraid to go to the sex clinic because im afraid i caught something....IM SO depressed because i cant get over how badly he treated me within an intimate experience, i hate myself so much right nowi did not register so i may not be able to reply to any of your comments...thnkyou in advance for all the advice
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cervix, condom, depressed, lost my virginity, unprotected sex, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): hes a bitch . hes just one of them user boys . hunny you should qo to the clinic and qet your self checked ! you should be treated incase you did catch anythinq . but i think you miqht have a urine infection . i hope everythinq qoes well . Good luck :] & i hope you update me on how thinqs went .
maybe you can qive me some advice with my problems. bye !
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): I just don't see this as sexual assault. You told him you wanted to have sex and went voluntarily with him. You had sex several times and didn't leave. It is apparent from your message that you could have left--started to leave.We all screw up at one time or another in many different ways. Our failures lead to our successes. I had one one-night stand when I was about 19 and felt like you do.It made me feel sick and humiliated.I do think you need to take the responsibility for your own actions and not place the blame all of him. You made yourself feel humiliated. You embarrassed yourself. These are your feelings private to yourself. Sex does not intimacy make. I don't think you should have expected that he would be a gentleman.Learn from this failing, only one of many you will have in life, to consider the consequences of anything you do. IE, think of how you will feel when it's over.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2009): Well the guy sounds like a jerk and if I were you I would get an STD test so you know if he gave you anything because it sounds like chlamydia to me http://yourstdhelp.com/chlamydia.html and if he had it he probably wouldnt have even bothered to tell you from the sound of the guy.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): cause i remember specifically when it got to the point where i tried to push him off of me, and he would not move
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): thankyou for all your help and advice, i am going to visit the clinic tomorrow afternoon
is this considered sexual assault when a person has been asked time and time again to stop but continues until climax?
im finding it soo hard to get over, i cant live with myself i feel disgusted and used, and i dont know how to deal with it anymore
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female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (8 September 2009):
 I agree 100% with deliawood on every front.While I am not a doctor, your symptoms do sound as though they are related to a bladder infection and cranberry juice is usually a fantastic way to alleviate the discomfort. However, you should see a doctor anyway. Antibiotics are the only way to effectively treat an infection, and you want to ensure that this is the correct diagnosis.Bladder infections can be caused by an increased amount of sex or by holding “it” (I think) for an extended period of time, so a doctor may not presume anything that would make you feel uncomfortable. There are always walk-in clinics (I am in Canada, too) and there you never need to see the diagnosing doctor again.If it is only a bladder infection, count yourself lucky.You asked for non-judgemental advice, but spent many paragraphs explaining how badly you feel emotionally. I suspect you are also looking for sympathy, which you have, but not as a blameless victim.While its clear you invited the misuse of yourself, I doubt anyone here would say you DESREVED IT. Having said that, and for the benefit of those who may read this and learn from it, if a person shows disregard for you the first time you're intimate, and the second, the third, fourth and fifth times will not inspire improvement. Essentially, you agreed to spend the weekend with a person you barely know for the purposes of sex. When disappointed with experience, you showed him through inaction that he could continue his behaviour, because you would subject yourself to it again and again. We teach people how to treat us.Ok - lecture over. Hopefully you've learned from this and will treat yourself better from now on.Feel better soon and good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): You probably have a urinary track infection. Do you also feel like you have to pee often? If so, go to the store and load yourself down with cranberry juice. If there is no improvement in a couple of days, go to the dr. You probably only need an anti-biotic. STD is a possibility, but I doubt it.You set yourself up for this humiliation, dear. Learn from it and don't repeat it. Afterall, how did it make you feel in the end? Always put the end first in your mind.
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female
reader, dr.2.be  +, writes (8 September 2009):
 Let me tell you first off that this guy is a 'donkey'-hole. He has no respect for your feelings and is very selfish. He is never going to listen to you and enjoys the power that he has over you when having sex. A very controlling man. You need to stop seeing him and stop having sex. He is not a friend. I lost my virginity to a guy similar to the one you described. This guy initially made me feel loved and wanted then when it came time to have sex (we both agreed on it) he refused to go slow, got angry at me when I told him it hurt. So I had a very bad and painful first time.
Was this guy well endowed? Even if he wasn't. rough sex can cause a small tear in the opening of the vagina which causes buring during urination. Urine is composed of urea, which is composed of waste products from the body, including ammonia, with is acidic and will cause buring on contact with broken skin. (It won't damage you, just causes the buring). The bleeding could be due to that same small cut. Worst case scenario, you may have damage to your cervix but the odds are very small. A woman's cervix can withstand a lot of stretching and such as the case in childbirth. So it would be hard to damage it with a penis, but then again it depends on how hard he had sex with you. Plus, if your cervix was damaged, you may feel tenderness in your abdominal area or cramping and pain. You may or may not bleed. Most likely, from what you described, you may have a small tear in the opening of your vagina which will go away on its own. It may itch and feel irritated a little bit as it heals.
I am not ruling out the possibility of an STD. Since you did have unprotected sex a couple times, you ran the risk of getting one. If I were you, I would go to the store and pick up a vagisil test. They are at home tests to determine whether you have any type of bacteria in your vagina. This way you can do the test in private and can keep you at peace of mind. However, it is not to replace a doctor's opinion and I do encourage you to get yourself checked out if this goes on longer than a week or if you notice foul-smelling discharge or cramping.
Good Luck and Feel Better!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2009): obviously this guy is no gentleman and extremly selfish. you would be better off without him. consider what happened as a bad choice which you didn't know when you made. we all make bad choices sometimes. just put the whole think out of your mind and try to fotget it.and you will, over time. as for the feeling of burning it is b/c you are sore and bruised there.it will heal over time. but do go to doctor.you don't have to go over what happened in detail with him. he will know as probably he has seen many similar cases.it is normal for him.that is what doctors do.get well soon.
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