A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is a very outgoing person and he loves to meet new people. When we go out, he'll often be very friendly to the waitress and get to know her or it could be anyone that is new among a group of existing friends. But more often that not, it will be women that he's striking up a conversation with. My problem is that sometimes the way he connects with these women makes me uncomfortable. Like last night, we went out and one of my friends came with his wife which my bf had never met before. He quickly found lots of things that they had in common and talked quite a bit. It looks like they both liked the same stuff. Which for one bothered me because she was he wife of my friends and what is my bf doing being all over her and second it makes me feel like he had a better connection to her, meaning more similar personalities, than with me. And i feel like im just watching them having a great conversation while im on the side. Im sure he loves me and is not trying to do this in a bad way. He likes to meet people but they happen to be always women. And when i tell him that his behavior can be sometimes taken as flirting by the other women, he doesnt agree. Maybe im insecure but the way he connects sometimes does feel like how people usually behave on a first date.
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female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (12 May 2012):
 I think your boyfriend's behavior is a little inappropriate, especially since you have already told him that it makes you uncomfortable and then he still does it. I also think tha the has ulterior motives when he seeks out other women and really "gets to know them". I hate to say it but I think he is still subconsciously "shopping around" for someone he may rather be with and he's hiding it behind he "love to meet new people" but funny how he doesn't connect with any of the men to strike up those same kind of conversations and find new "buddies" to pal around with. It's always with the women. Now if I'm wrong you should easily be able to point this out to him and then he will stop doing it. I think you need to continue to have very frank up front discussions with him and it's rude to you to always have to look at the back of his head while he's chatting it up to another woman. Who does that? It's not so much about insecurity in my opinion, it's about respect and not making your significant other feel insignificant. Gently piont out that none of the other husbands behave this way and if he argues, tell him to pay more attention to their behavior and by the way, why doesn't he try to connect to them instead of always zooming in on their wives and girlfriends. I'm sure some of the men have noticed it and I'd be willing to bet they were too thrilled with his behavior either. Over time that could cause the two of you to be ostrized by the group because it feels like everytime they invite you and your b/f he gets too friendly with their wives and girlfriends. He needs to reel it in if he doesn't want to appear to be "shopping". Good luck.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2012): First, He sounds like a big flirt. If he was equally chatting it up with men and women the same, I would think not. However the fact that he is always connecting with women, makes him sound like a flirt. Second, are the women he's talking to attractive? If they all are, that confirms he's a big flirt. Now if they are not and you know not his type at all, then maybe he's just got a real friendly personality.My wife was a big flirt when we first met overly flirtatious. We would be out and her being very attractive got lots of attention. We talked about it but it did not solve the issue. So when we would be out at a bar, dancing, if some guy would start talking to her and I knew he was hitting on her, if she refused to blow him off, I would just find a cute girl in the bar to talk to or dance with. Guess what? she did not like it when I did it, and all of a sudden she was blowing off every guy she knew was not just talking to her but flirting, again big difference between just talking and flirting. So if you think he is flirting and he disagrees, start flirting yourself with other men when your out and see how he likes it. Like the waiter get to know him:)good luck
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (12 May 2012):
 It does sound like your insecure; but thats the way he is. He cant change his style of being to accomodate you; but he should know that his approach with women makes you feel uneasy and less secure.
Does your bf make you feel loved and cherished?
If he does than you have nothing to worry about.
However,
I dont think you'd be questioning it if there wasnt a part of you that compared yourself inferior to these other women.
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