A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a co worker who had been chasing me for a couple of months. I went out with him a few times for drinks after work and we used to talk alot, he asked me out a few times outside of work, but I always ignored his advances and kept it in the friend zone. Had no desire to date a co worker for fear of the type of drama that has since ensued...The night before new years we ended up just the two of us at work. We got very drunk. I hadn't dated for awhile (by my own personal choice) felt like cutting loose, so we ended up having sex. We had a good time too. I ended up going back to his place and we blew off our plans and spent new years together. It was fun. We went out to dinner and went to the movies. Had a great time with him. What was cool too is that because we are co workers and had established some sort of friendship, I felt like I could be natural around him. I really had no expectations. Just wanted to have fun. The thing is we actually started to like each other. So we kept hanging out and things seemed to be progressing fine. I really liked him and could tell he really liked me too. It felt right. But then one night I got to work and found out the place might be shutting down and we'd all be out of a job. I called him and he rushed to my side. I was so upset that I started drinking and got really drunk. He suggested going back to my place and brainstorming on what to do next. I was so drunk I couldn't think. I got home and put sad music on and started talking nonsenses (which is what I do when I get upset and have a few too many). I do not know what I said to this guy, all I know is that he got mad about something and when I went to the bathroom he took off without saying goodbye! The next day at work he was being all nice like nothing happened. I was kinda pissed. I asked him what that was all about. Why he left and if I said something to offend him. He said I was just being me and he didn't want to bring up what bothered him because he doesn't want to change me and I should just be me. He also said, I didn't do anything wrong but nothing felt right. Okay?Anyway he was being vague so I just let it go and I left. The next day he invited me to the movies after work, I agreed. We actually had alot of fun. We spent the night together the next couple of days as we had been doing since we started hanging, but we didn't have sex. Then a couple of days later we hung out after work and he tells me he doesn't take me seriously. And I was like huh?! He goes into this spiel about how he has two kids and I am bound to meet them if we keep dating and he needs to be sure I am serious about him and I am just a serious/responsible type. I didn't even know what to say as my ego was shot that he would even question me like that. It was too much pressure, too fast. To me it didn't feel right and I didn't say anything and changed the subject. Over the next couple of days he grew a little distant. I texted him and I asked him if he was blowing me off. He said he wasn't blowing me off but he was pissed off about my work ethic (I'd been late a few times) and went on this rant about me doing my job better and giving him attitude. I tried to explain myself and he told me to save my excuses for someone else and just do my job. I was so mad at how he was talking to me that I called him an asshole and told him to stop flirting with me at work. He responded that he would text me later. I said, don't bother. And that was it!Since then he has been ignoring me and giving me the silent treatment. I tried to talk to him the next day to smooth things over, he said he didn't want to talk to me. He won't even look at me. He has been ignoring me for a week now. Its really awkward. Not only that but on Saturday night we threw a party where I work and he ended up flirting with this lady RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME all night long. I mean they might as well have just fu**** right there. It was so blatant, so flaunting, too much to the point it looked like an act. I seriously began to question whether he was trying to make me jealous. It was too much. She wasn't even that cute. No guy goes that over the top over some lady. If a guy really likes a girl usually he is alot more subtle. Yet he was acting so over the top like he was so "wowed" by her. It was pathetic. At the end of the night, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, he was taking down her number on a piece of paper. I stayed calm and tried to act like I didn't care. And to be honest I was neither threatened by this lady (I feel I am way cuter) nor impressed by the show he put on. But it still hurt...It was so tacky. When I left the party I was saying goodbye to everybody, and I know I shouldn't have but I did...I said to him, "goodnight. Have fun with that 60 year old dinosaur." To which he simply smirked, trying not to laugh, but didn't even look at me. And I left. I know he went home with her...Im not asking for advice on what to do, as I know now to ignore him, be aloof and not let him get under my skin and move on. But WHY is he doing this? He was either trying to make me jealous or make the message loud and clear that I mean nothing to him. We had fun together and I thought we were friends, so why is he being so nasty?
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at work, co-worker, drunk, flirt, jealous, move on, my ex, no desire, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (29 January 2014):
 To OP: I think it was his little revenge, and a way to show you he had already turned the page of your story.
As iAmHereToHelpYou well said, do yourself a favor and move on you too !
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 January 2014): OP here. Thanks for the response Gauntlet! But could you elaborate? I could understand if I was chasing him or blowing up his phone or something but I wasn't doing either. When he said he didn't want to talk, I took the hint and left him alone. So why did he go that extra mile to show me SOME MORE that he doesn't care about me?
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet +, writes (29 January 2014):
You know what ? That guy didn't intend to make you jealous, he just wanted to show you how little you were to him. And it worked at hundred per cent. Old tricks are undoubtedly the best ones.
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