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Isn't love a choice and not a feeling?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Breaking up, Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 October 2007) 1 Answers - (Newest, 13 October 2007)
A female United States age 51-59, *ITCH72 writes:

Isn't being in love a choice and not a feeling. To me it's about everything you do and have shared with that person. I want to know if i can control the love of my life and my partner for almost 20 years from leaving our life together even after she has cheated on me with her first love and says she is in love with her and just loves me and care about me. I an so heart broken over all of this. Please help me.

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A female reader, leanne.od United Kingdom +, writes (13 October 2007):

leanne.od agony auntYou can't control anyone. what are you, an emotional bully? she has fallen out of love with you. you need to get over it and move on. you can't change her mind, she loves someone else and absolutely nothing you do will change her mind back.

yes 20 years is a long time but she obviously doesn't feel the same for you like she used to and NO love isn't choice, you can't help who you fall in love with. You heartbreak will go, after time. holding on to false hope that you can force her to stay after she has been honest and told you it's over will do no good to you and will make the process twenty times worse.

let her go and move on.

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