A
female
age
51-59,
*inda lee
writes:Well I am in a little dilemma. I work with this really cool, nice man (he is 32) and I am 42. I know age difference ei. well dilemma is that recently I noticed that he gives me this looks and big smiles often and always compliments me. He usually notices if I change something in my appearance. However saying all that he does not talk to me when we are alone. If we are alone in the office he is very quit and concentrate at his work, especially today after my coworker was quite rude to me. I know relationship wise it would be very difficult cause of age difference. But as woman i need to ask do you think he is interested in me or do I imagine things here?OI do get a little bit nervous around him though, and sometimes I do say bit off things.. LOL
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 October 2012):
 Exactly, NEXT . That's the right attitude.
I think it is quite possible that he just was being friendly, or maybe flirty, but without wanting anything closer- and, noticing that you had misunderstood his attentions and intentions, he decided to visisblt step back until all the situation cooled down. No big deal- now office harmony is restored- you can go NEXT, just next time make sure that signals are more consistent, and that the guy is single.
A
female
reader, linda lee +, writes (18 October 2012):
linda lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell we do talk now and he acts much better. He tries now to joke with me but now I keep it in friendly note.. However it is not as it used to be. Maybe I just misundersood him or it is not ment to be. NEXT.
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female
reader, linda lee +, writes (28 September 2012):
linda lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell just short update or complain about man. Situation went from bad to worse. There is a tension between us, and I think it is negative. I avoid him and he avoids me (to stay alone with me for too long) when other people are around he is OK.
It makes me sad it came to this point as we could be potentially good mates. There are still some actions which can be interpreted ether way however I am fed up with the whole situation so as I said I avoid him and when other people are there I am nice to him. I would not be surprised if we end up in some kind of small discussion although I will really try to avoid it. It seems that key word is avoid. LOL
You know when I was younger it was so easier for me to understand dating game. It can be age or I just meet weird guys. I live in Asia where is not many decent man ( no disrespect to Asian man, I am just tall woman). Maybe I should move back to Europe!
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female
reader, linda lee +, writes (21 September 2012):
linda lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Cindy , thank you so much. I think you are right. I do tend to over analyze too much anyway. We did end up talking a bit. But everyone notice there is bit tension between us. Negative tension I would say. I think he got hurt with something I did or said and I as well, so we act quite strange around each other. It is not that I would go for him as only as a man I would just want to know him better even as a friend too. I know he has "friend" which is only mention as a "friend" and not any other name.
I am trying to be normal with him but I can see he is analyzing whatever I say! I do not know. I just want know nice working environment.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (20 September 2012):
I think you are really overthinking this. For some reason of his, this is clearly a no go and he is unavailable to get closer. Don't feel bad about it, but also please don't feel you have to do something special to change the situation.
Just be your normal self, and treat him like you'd treat any other coworker. Polite, friendly but not too friendly. Say hi, thank him if he does something helpful, you know, the usual stuff and nothing more.
Maybe he feels awkward with you right now, but if you don't overreact and overanalyze I bet that in few days everything will be normal again.
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female
reader, linda lee +, writes (20 September 2012):
linda lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh ma God!!! Since last night when he ran out of the office and hide himself from my coworker (the nasty one) and me, he today did not even say helo. We are avoiding each other. It is crazy!!! He is acting weird man. Yesterdaybefore he left I said buy and he said "thank you very much Londa" which is very polite. And today he is acting so hurt ( his friend was asking about my life and I di say I had a crash on one guy and I am not imterested in eye-candy) but I do not think they are acting together. But today is absolutly crazy. I do not know what to do. I do not want to avoid him but he avoids me so I started to avoid him too. What the hell ! HELP ME. this is insane.
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female
reader, linda lee +, writes (18 September 2012):
linda lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for support, I will update. I am flirt too but usually I am very careful at work! Sigh, he is hot!!! Move on !!!
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (17 September 2012):
 Hi
Everyone likes to be 'fancied', and you were flattered. Now take yourself out on these late summer evenings and see if there are other men who flirt and then follow through,your clearly open to meeting somebody.
Your not silly,old or lonely, just single and looking ~ that 'friend' is heartless!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (17 September 2012):
 First of all you are NOT old. You are probably younger than my Fiancé who is 39… secondly you did not get played.. he had a bit of a flirtation..
I am a massive flirt at work… totally taken but I can see how someone who was ripe for some loving would misinterpret it…
New rule for you (and it should be for everyone) only PRACTICE flirting at work… do NOT date or sleep with co-workers EVER… yes it works and yes we have married couples in my place of employement but they work in different areas and different floors and even drive to work separately… (I work for a large federal agency) we even have ex spouses working in the same place (I got my ex husband a job here… not that I ever see him)… and I know one couple that met here, married and divorced, they still both work here but folks talk and we can’t have them in meetings together… workplace romance is never easy…
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (17 September 2012):
He does not sound particularly interested, IMO. And if he has already a girlfriend, if he is interested in you, that's surely not for a relationship.
You may have read too much into a normal friendliness, or he may be just of one those natural big flirts who turn up the charm just because, without any particular malice or intention.
But I would not take it so much at heart , if I were you. These misunderstandings happen, and surely don't make you either silly or old or lonely ( what a "nice" friend you've got, btw )
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female
reader, linda lee +, writes (17 September 2012):
linda lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnybody?
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female
reader, linda lee +, writes (16 September 2012):
linda lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was just called to be " silly old lonely woman" by a friend. who told me he probably only played the field for fun and that he is not at all interested in me. What a lovely words to cheer me up!!!
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female
reader, linda lee +, writes (15 September 2012):
linda lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell my dear friends, here it update. After such nice time there was strange conversation between my 55 year old gay coworker, eye candy and myself. In that conversation my gay co worker made me look bit(tiny bit) stupid.
Since that for a week my eye-candy, hot looking so worker is a little bit cool with me, but we had nice chats. However yesterday friend of his (more likely just good superficial friend) told me that he dates a girl(not a long time) and that is not serious. This guy is not gossipy so for me it was strange sudden information exchange. But I played cool as we all work together and this is good job.
Hence what now????
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female
reader, linda lee +, writes (8 September 2012):
linda lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPoint made! I have to be friend him and see!
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 September 2012):
have you come out and asked him if he has a girlfriend?
if not, then what's the issue? some folks keep their private life out of the office...
if you weren't interested in him as a romantic partner it wouldn't bug you would it?
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female
reader, linda lee +, writes (7 September 2012):
linda lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell new development is that it seems he has girlfriend which is only mention as a "friend" to everyone in the office and every Saturday night he is nowhere to be seen :-(
Why hiding if it is true?? I do not like that. It is not honest.
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female
reader, linda lee +, writes (7 September 2012):
linda lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI am in between two fires so to speak. Him being polite, work place and him being interested in me. That is actually three different things. I will try to check him bit more to decide. I will update you guys. Or I will try to become his mate as I would like to know him better anyways.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2012): May be he is just being polite.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2012): To:old bag
Hi there,
That is a very smart advice. He is part time at the moment. But I heard he wants to get full time position next year. I may be patient for a little bit more.Ta.
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female
reader, oldbag +, writes (6 September 2012):
Hi
I would tread very carefully, not because of the age difference but the fact he is a work colleague. I am not a fan of mixing work with pleasure as it can often end in tears and nowadays jobs are hard to come by.
Perhaps thats whats holding HIM back?
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female
reader, linda lee +, writes (6 September 2012):
linda lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGreat guys,
The problem with drink is that he does not drink and he is strict vegetarian. Now I am OK with that but it limits the invitation options.
Ok I will not make excuses and will get courage to ask him for a tea and see what happens.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 September 2012):
goodness I'm 52 my fiance is 39... after about 30 IMO age is a number... if you are interested in him and think he will be receptive, ask him to go for lunch one day at work..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2012): say to him---- would you like a drink after work one evening. then wait for his answer.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 September 2012):
 There's nothing wrong with fostering a friendship.... forget the age difference....
IF you and he hit it off, then life will continue on...
Good luck.....
P.S. If you DON'T "hit it off" then life will continue on, as well....
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A
female
reader, linda lee +, writes (5 September 2012):
linda lee is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey Blondie thanks so much for your answer. I will have to get the courage to ask him out, as the girl I was good wit asked him out and he refused (and she is mush younger than me). I will ask him out and if he says no at least I will know Right!
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