A
male
age
41-50,
*ohnny angel
writes:hi i need help m boyfriend is comeing over from the uk tomorrow and i am worried as my perants dont know a lot about him i want them to meet him and fall in love with him as much as i do as hes comeing from the uk to the us the only one who knows him really well is my sister as she was friends with him for 2 years befor me she tells me it will be fine and i hope it will be but im scared that my family will hate him especially my farther as hes the first guy i have had a relationship with and i think he trys to blame him for the fact im gay .also as he is liveing with me i have tried to get him a job with me to but as my boss and friends dont know im gay [yet] i have only worked here for 3 monthes i have introduced him as my brother am i wrong in doing this?
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male
reader, johnny angel +, writes (1 September 2010):
johnny angel is verified as being by the original poster of the question hey i would like to thank u all for your help me my boyfriend took my family to lunch yesterday and my mum was impresed with him we talked about going away in a few weeks time which my mum agreed to but my dad didt he saud if he was staying with us hed have to obay his rules
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1 +, writes (29 August 2010):
 So it sounds like you're already OUT to your parents. It sounds like it's just gonna take some time for them to adjust to it. You need to work on them about the whole 'why you're gay' issue. They need to be made aware that HE didn't turn you gay... that you've been that way all long. You just have to keep drilling it into them until they get that. I don't know WHY straight people THINK that it's some CHOICE, or that you just TURNED gay over night or something.
Anyway, you can't MAKE them like him. Either they will... or they won't. I would say that you should introduce him to your mom first... at some where neutral location (a restaurant over dinner - or something)... and even if he can't afford it have him pay for the meal (you can work out the logistics of the cash prior or afterwards)... this will give her a positive impression of him. Later, do the same with your dad. The point is to reduce the initial shock (so to speak).
In the long run though... they don't HAVE to like him. It's just an added bonus - per say. It might strain your relationship with them for a while but it'll work itself out.
As for telling your boss/co-workers that he's your BROTHER... that seems a little odd and technically he probably won't be able to get work here (legally)... without a work visa or a green card... neither of which are easy to obtain. So I don't know what, really, to say about getting him a job. As mentioned previously though, unless your state has sexual-orientation protections for employment... you need to be a little careful about whom you tell that he's your boyfriend. This can also affect your housing situation... again, if your state doesn't have s-o protection laws.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): Do your parents know you are gay and what has their reaction been? If they know and have been supportive then dont assume they will blame a boyfriend for you being gay.
They may have a hard time seeing you with someone at first but if you are respectful and they see that you are happy they will come to terms with it hopefully.
As for introducing him as your brother...no you shouldnt. Intoduce him as your sisters friend, who is going to be your roommate. Or just as a friend...or roommate. I see no need for you to lie, your personal life really isnt any of their business as long as it doesnt affect your work. good luck honey, mal
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010): Well your parents love you and they should support you. If they dont like it, then they will just have to get used to it. Its who you are! You're not wrong for doing this. As for work, your boss might not like it. Who knows? If you think he might take it well then tell him. The reason why I caution you when thinking about coming out to your boss is because you might get fired. Some people dont get hired because they're not pretty enough or overweight. I know, it shows how shallow some people are in this world. But dont be ashamed, you'll be fine. And if your friends are "true" friends, then it wont matter to them what your sexual orientation is. I wish you the best of luck, and dont worry.:]
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