A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay so i have a problem and need advice..i met this guy about a month ago and we've been talking everyday and have hung out about 6 or 7 times .. hes brought me around his friends and has me over his house to meet his mom. now he knows im a virgin and we've only gone to 3rd base [ recently ] .. the other day we were texting and he asked if i could come over to talk. i said about what and he said nothing serious. long story short i went to his house and he layed down with me put his arm around me and asked me what my intentions were with us.. and i said to hang out see where it goes and he said well you know im going back to school in 2 months [3 hours away] and he said he wasn't ready for a relationship cause its just really bad timing. i said i wasn't looking for one right now and he said that he knew but didn't want to lead me on. he said hes done the long distance thing [ he had a girlfriend for 3 and a half years and they broke up because the long distance was really hard on them] and it didn't work out . so i said ok thank you for being honest blah blah and we did what we normally do when we hang out [cuddle,kiss] so a movie preview came out and hes like we should go see that this weekend. and when he walked me out to my car he gave me a hug and a kiss and told me to call him tomorrow and i said that i don't call people and hes like 'im always the one texting you first, you should do it sometimes' [like he was annoyed or something?] but my question isss .. is this hopeless or do i stick around and risk getting my heart broken? is he just thinking that since it didnt work out with his ex that it wont work out with me or is that a lie?
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broke up, his ex, long distance, text, third base Reply to this Question
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female
reader, benguela +, writes (16 June 2010):
Honestly, if you stop things now, you will be guessing for the rest of your life what could have been. I think you should continue to see him, but in order to avoid a major heartbreak, do not sleep with him. Because once you do and he goes away to school, you will feel really terrible that you let things get that far. Take it easy, enjoy your time with him. If he's decent and mature enough to value you for your beliefs, he will not only respect your virginity, but he will want to keep seeing you, even after he starts school. He was honest with you about his intentions, so that's commendable already. But you should be in control of your emotions and desires, so that you don't end up suffering after he leaves, because you got too involved with him, when you shouldn't have. Don't concentrate on the school thing, nor the virginity...just take it one day at a time and enjoy what you have. It's better than breaking things off and feeling miserable. The worst thing in the world is to end something and second-guess your decision later.
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (15 June 2010):
 If you are concerned you'll get your heart broken by sticking around, then its time to cool things off or you will get your heart broken.
He's already said he doesn't want anything serious and that whatever you are sharing (while I am sure it feels nice and makes you happy for now) will end in two months (or sooner).
It doesn't matter if he is afraid of a repeat of a past heart-break or if that is just a line to explain in a gentle way why he doesn't want to continue with you in this capacity when he goes back to school. What matters is he doesn't want to turn this into a long-distance relationship and doesn't want you to think there is any potential for more.
So, don't think there is... I know it’s not a fun answer, but I am pleased he had the decency to be honest with you.
Good luck. :-)
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