A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i cant even, i dont even, i dont even know how to start this one.well. so, there is this kid in my school, lets call him M. i was always intrigued by him, you could say interested, but more of from afar. hes goofy cute i guess you could, not your typical every girl loves him. then my friend started going out with another guy who is friends with M. he said that m and i were pretty much the same person, and it was like ongoing joke. the whole time ive been holy crap yes yes yes.. can we hang out already?! but i needed to contain myself so that i wouldnt come off as forward or anything you know? and then there is this other kid, lets call him k. well k is friends with my friends bf and apparently he expressed a 'strange interest' in me? i mean k may be cool and everything, but m just.. my god. i dont know. i feel like if i officially 'met' him, id feel like we were friends forever. i have this weird sense and can immediately tell if im gonna like someone or not, and considering i have like a major phobia of social situations, its rare to find something who i dont have a panic attack over.the thing is.. some of my friends are like yeahh k and you would be great, and hes already interested in me. but some are like nahh you should go with m, because you guys are like twins. i said if i had to choose, i would choose m and they were actually surprised because i guess k if the more.. attractive one? i dont know, but im just not that into him. its just that.. m is like so oblivious and in his own world, and i guess they [my/his friends] were like well it would be more of a task for that to work. and theyre like well.. if your undecided then clearly the better choice would be k..but no. im not undecided. but i dont want to express my insane love for m, cause i dont really know him. i also dont want him to get freaked out. or feel like then there be no chase. cause if theres no chase, i couldnt care less about the person, i know thats bad. but its true. do you know whats weird about me? that im really hesitant to like anyone who likes me first. like i want to be the one who decides, i dont want to be dragged into just cause someone likes me. i hate when things are decided for me. ugh well. is this what you call a love triangle?i dont know what im asking. im sorry its so long.i guess i just want some input or if this has happened to any one else..33 merci Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (21 February 2008):
 By M being, as you said, oblivious is his own world, he is aloof and cool, and that intrigues you. You want to get under that cool exterior and find out what's inside, M is a challenge, and that is much, much more appealing than someone who lays all their cards on the table.
Looks aren't neccessarily all. We need physical attraction, but very often I have found someone not necessarily good looking has become attractive to me simply by me getting to know their presonality. The same with someone attractive, if they have a crap personality, I won't find them attractive.
The thing is, and you will learn this when you are older, but you have to stop letting your friends influence you. Otherwise you will look back and feel like you never made your own choices or did the things you really wanted to do.
It's not weird to want to be the one to do the chasing - the cashe is half the fun. It's so much better when you finally get with someone if you've had to work for it, sometimes when things are too easy, it's offputting.
Go for M, do what your heart tells you, be happy, forget what your friends think or say.
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