A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I met a Turkish man (A bar owner 20 years younger than me on holiday) He tried it on sexually with me but i told him i do not sleep with some one i do not know. Next day he told me he wanted a future with me and wants me to move to Turkey. He said he would give me a job in his bar. I said I could not move to Turkey until my daughter finishes her education in England. He then said I could keep going over to Turkey to see him and build up the relationship. I have only known him for 6 days by just talking whilst in his bar. He said property prices will rise in Turkey in the next few years and now is the time to either buy a plot of land or property. He says he could get property cheaper than a tourist as he has contacts.He would help me buy next time I come to Turkey.This is where the alarm bells ring for me.I am not stupid and no way would I allow anything in his name. I have no capital it is all tied up in my house here in England.He says he has money and is not after mine nor does he want to move to England so I must believe that it is me he likes.He has rung me 2 days after arriving home asking me if I want a future with him. Do turkish(Kurdish)men really decide so quickley they want a woman or is he trying to con me?
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female
reader, sherry555 +, writes (23 December 2012):
Can you tell me how did your story goes on?
Are you still with the guy?
Has he proven to be faithfull to your love?
A
female
reader, strawberry jam +, writes (11 November 2010):
Hi,
speaking of the above i can understand the doubts in your head and all the ppl who have told you to back of from the guy, because i have learnt the hard way i was married to a tunisian guy who had the right to stay in the uk but still after 5 years after him leaving me i am finding out all the lies about him and that he only married me for money. I genuienly loved the guy and i feel really sick that how can another human being get married and fall in love to a innocent person on false pretancies i know i couldnt live with my self if i did that to someone. ITS sad to know that its happening more and more.
pls think carefully dont trust foreign men!!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2010): sorry some spelling corrections here.as i say is very short and has dyed blonde hair she is middle aged woman who started going to turkey marmaris about 1995 she went about ten times got marriod tried to bring the guy into uk home office blocked it and she had major breakdown and lost her job..her family helped her out..ok i hear of late she has shes gone back out there which has surprised everyone after that nightmare...she craves sunlight its a medical conditions which afftects her very much..i hear she going back out again later this years and its worrying people who care for her and not making sense at all ppl are afraid she may not return..if anyone reading this and its sounds familiar could you let me know asap as i care very deeply or this person thank you//
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A
female
reader, welshy +, writes (5 June 2010):
hyia ive just got back from turkey and while i was there met a kurdish waiter. im 20 and hes 28. hes absolutly lovely, hes kind, funny, gorgeous and and wel hot haha. ma and my friend(male) would go o the bar he worked ever night cus of the entertainment and me and him would always chat. a girl i met there was going out with another kurdish waiter she was from england and she had been with him for a year. she travels over 3/4 times a year to see him and while shes over they will go to another part of tukey as a mini holiday together. they phone and text achother loads.the gang of us would go out clubbng then head home id go back to the bar with the waiter on my own as my m8 would go to bed. we would stay in the bar till around 6.30 in the morning chatting and drinkin tea haha hardcore. he ddint once pressurise me into sex, didnt even ask for it or anything (i didnt sleep with him as im not like that and dont sleep with ppl ive just met). when wed go clubbing hed pay for the drinks, food taxi buy me roses everythin. the day i was going home he bought me a necklace and asked me to keep in touch. we text each day and hes now opened a facebook to keep in touch with me. im curently planning on going back there sept- i was wary of him at first but he showed me a lovely side to them!!!! so keep a open mind and have fun. dont give him money!!! hope this helps!!! their all not scum haha XXXX
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 April 2010): Be cynical and test out his intention. You may not know now that it is trickery, he will never see it that way. My own experience was however that he was mostly a charming, caring and flattering Turkish cultured man living in South London almost all his life, he could not help giving me verbal punishment once I had committed my love to him, which I learned was his own sense of insecurity. Insecurity is no more a Turkish trait than for any other person. However I believe his attitude towards women came out in the end. The more I loved him, comforted him, showed patience and cheerfulness, put myself out and not cast up any faults about him, the more he would blame me for things that wer in his control and not mine. He would send me texts over a day or two to reinforce his message. View your friend as a highly calculating human being his intention may not be money but to control you through affairs of the heart and by creating a fear of rejection in you. Have in mind a defence mechanism/boundary on how far he can influence your life. Stick to it until you really know him. I learnt the hardest way I gave him my love and full TRUST and after 1.5 years he left me with a massive unjustified blame that suited him and I have looked for objective reasons to take the blame but find none of the magnitude he put out. Truth about Turkish hurts my dear keep a lid on it for your own sanity. As my Indian godparent said to me 'an elephant shows his tusks but never his teeth'.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2010): Ok lets have looked again, this person responsible only him self NOT the nations responsible for this person. I am an a Turkish man I have bean all around the world And this tipe of Con do happen all arround,As a Turkishman I have worned couple of British lady before they hand money over I said look becareful this is wrong you will be not only upset you will hurt,They are did think no I am wrong how do I think like that for Turkish man bean a one of kind, NO NO NO NO all around the world any where holiday place you will find this tipe of mans or womens full stop. If you are going to holiday so you should enjoe as the way you wanto but you are not daft to bellewe love can be that easy to fell with in week or month Love is just like baby its grouth with in time. PLEASE BEFORE YOU ARE JUDGE OTHERS, JUDGE YOUR SELF And PLEASE DO NOT BLAME TO NATIONS FOR ONE OR FEW ANIMALS ALL IS NOT SAME, Regards.
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A
female
reader, calea  +, writes (8 September 2009):
i have lived in turkey 6 years and every week i hear the same kind of story as yours.It is a fairytale that turkish men like playing please forget him. for the sake of your heart and your bank book
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A
male
reader, silenceofdestiny +, writes (20 June 2009):
I'm a Turkish guy as u can notice from my flag :). Well u said he is quite younger then you just to be realistic it seems it wont work and he is probably after money or visa. I bet he is makin fun of you when hes talking with his friends about you. I worked at tourism industry for summers to finance my collage education and improve my English. I met lotsa people running after older women for money or visa. Most of guys working in entertainment business is mostly after cash or EU citizenship. I'm a Turkish guy but am man of truth so be carefull i dont want anyone hurt and i dont want some jerks make Turkish people name bad. I jope you find right answer.
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A
female
reader, minxer727 +, writes (19 June 2009):
i have lived in turkey for 3 years.. the fact that he has mentioned property and contacts this earlly on is very bad!!ihave watched umpteen plus 20 women just like you get ripped apart financilly and emotionally very quickly in these places....it astounds me just how good these guys are.. turkish or kurdish same cons.
as for the housing market it is good at the moment but better to put money in to high interest turkish bank account on 16% interest while you get to know the country, and look in to the area,s you like... far better to rent.
most guys over 18 are actually married and leave their wives and families hidden away at home. i could go on all night!! but i will say this I HAVE NEVER MET A FAITHFULL TURK IN TOURISM....EVER!!!!NOT 1!!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): To be honest it sounds like he's using you because he thinks that you're an easy target, walk!
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A
female
reader, Tilki +, writes (17 May 2009):
Visit Islington - or anywhere else in the UK with a Turkish community, if you don't get a second glance there, it begs the question of why Turks in the resorts are so attentive to European women. As a Turk I can tell you that no decent Turkish man would take money from a woman he had just met. Walk.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2009): never ever do not believe those bstrs.. I am a Turkish Man live in Antalya, work in tourism industry, see those types thousands of times. Esp. Kurds are pretty good at setting up a con such this. Never ever believe them. Just stay away from them, even do not try one-night stands with those types you can get venerals from them. Believe me not kidding!!!
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A
female
reader, angelwithonewing  +, writes (4 May 2009):
i think you should go with your heart give him a chance u will know just do not give him any money and see how it go good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): well there are alot of turkish men after money and would tell you anything there are very good a sucking you in. but there are some out there that are after a furture i would just be very careful you dont want to end up loseing everything there is some worman out there have lost thousands and some that are very happy with there men just remermber you have a child to think about but good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2008): i myselfhas had this happended i have been going to turkey for 5 years and this has happened to me on many occasions but now i have found a nice man give them a chance but keep yours eyes open there is some nice men there you just have to work it out i wish you well
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2008): Honestly, Kurdish men are like the gypsies of the turks.
I don't want to hurt or offend u in anyway but no, i don't believe for one minute that he is sincere in anyway for I do not firmly believe that, that word is in their vaocabulary. U r asking for peoples advice and help on this but even the fact that u have to ask just proves how much of a doubt u have in ur own mind. U have a daughter and a home in England, do not waste life, live it, don't fall for the crap that they throw ur way, do u really believe that within one day of speaking to someone that they could possibly know, I want to spend the rest of my life with this person which is basically what he has asked of u.
I wish u all the best on this topic, he happened to me were I fell in love with a Turkish fella, it will never ever happen again.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (29 August 2008):
 Steer clear of this Conman!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2008): Don't go with that man. Drop it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBy chance I have found a web site called Turkish love rats and think this man is mentioned there.I am awaiting a reply to get on to this forum to find out if this is the same man. If it is he is very bad news as this one has tricked many women and has several women on the go at once and tries to sell a plot of land to you to build a house on.This is exactly what he is trying with me as I initially said I may buy a house in Turkey in the future.
Then the chatting up began. Thanks for all your replies confirming my suspicions.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): I have been married to a Turk for seven years and we have have our own business here. As per the previous anonymous reply, I am in a position where I know what I'm talking about. I see this situation all the time. Trust me, he is not being honest with you. After knowing you for less than a week, he wants to spend the rest of his life with you! He gave his game away the moment he mentioned property to you. His 'contacts' will be any estate agent or property developer in the area and he will be charging them around 10% commission to 'help' you, a fair amount of money to him! If you want to purchase property in any country, go directly to the professionals. You wouldn't buy a house off of someone you met in a pub in the UK, would you?My advice would be to concentrate on your life in the UK, especially as you still have a child at school. Don't disrupt her life for this man.Some resort workers, as in any country, see single female holiday makers as fair game and will tell you what you want to hear in order to get what they want, be that money or sex. Turkey has some of the most trustworthy and kindest people I have met and I have travelled the world, so don't be put off of coming here but please do not leave your common sense at home!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): I happen to have some really good Turkish friends, who I visit a lot. I frequently see older women with young Turkish and Kurdish men on these trips, and I'm afraid to say that my friends (they're guys) see it as a huge joke that these women can be taken for a ride so easily. Sadly, a lot of guys in that part of the world will do this, and it's almost never real love. I'd steer well clear of him, if I were you - it's almost certainly a con.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): He is a fraud and he has a plan to rip you off. He also wants to get in your pants. This is an experienced and professional opinion not a naive guess. I am in position to know what I am talking about. Btw Turkey is full of awesome men but this man is not amongst them. For God's sake cut off completely with him.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (26 August 2008):
I think any man who probably chats to hundreds and hundreds of women in a bar every summer and decides he's in love after 6 days is either a nut job or possibly unique.
Keep your relationship long distance and see how he copes with that. Your daughter and her education has to come first.
I would be very very suspicious if I were you.
As Raven Suggests get him to come and stay in a hotel near by and visit you and see if he seems genuine then.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (26 August 2008):
 Go really slow. There are far too many stories of western women being victimized by Muslim men to want to rush into anything.
With that said, let me also say that there are just as many stories where such matches have worked out absolutely fabulously. My niece (American), for example, is married to an Algerian Muslim and has been for many years, and they get along extremely well. His family is fond of her, and their children are wonderful. They split their time between New York and a home on the Mediterranean, although he often has to spend more time in New York on business than she and the kids do.
Get to know this guy much better. If he's really interested in you he should be willing to at least visit you in your country and get to know your family and friends. Make it plain to him that if you do become involved with him you will insist on retaining close ties all the time to the folks back home, and the two of you will be expected to visit there regularly. That should not be negotiable.
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