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female
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my b/f for almost 2 years...He made a joke about marriage but in a negative way..I said you don't ever want to get married in general to anyone?(he is 30 by the way and i am 23)..he said he doesn't know, its a big decision..i told him he needs to figure this out--i cant be with someone for 5 years to be told the same thing. I said whats the point of being in a serious relationship then? He then said when do you want to get married? I said i dont want to get married tomorrow or next year but one day, otherwise why be in a serious relatonship with you. I can just be with someone else...i said we are going to wind up breaking up soon over this..and he says Now??i basically said he has a few months to start thinking just in general what he wants with his life b/c i dont want to waste that much time...I think he saw afterwards that i was just blanky staring at the tv and the ceiling and he put his arms around me and was pretty much being affectionate with me for the couple of hours we were watching tv. Is this normal for a guy to be like this? I love him but if he still feels this way 6 months or 9 months from now..i think i will have to leave him..is that a smart move? I know people sometimes need more time to figure this out..what do i do.. :( Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dragonette  +, writes (26 February 2007):
 I've been with my guy for 7 years and we only recently started discussing the possibility of marriage, but everybody's different and far from everybody wait for this long before getting married.
Giving him time to get used to the idea of marrying you and then leaving him if it turns out that he doesn't want to get married sounds like a good idea if you want to get married.
If you want a happy marriage though, I would make sure that he's marrying you because he wants to, and not because you're pushing him into it.
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