A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'd really appreciate some advice about platonic friendships.I fell for somebody a few years ago and she wasn't interested. The thing was, that we became really close friends. It caused all sorts of problems, because I found it really difficult to see her with other people and got jealous but she felt that having been honest with me from the start, she was doing nothing wrong and it was none of my business to be jealous. She was right of course but it didn't make it any easier for me. Anyway, it took a long, long time and many arguments before things sorted themselves out. Now, we are still really close friends, I'm godfather to her children, and its ok, although we still have our moments!Anyway, I've become really close to a girl who has a boyfriend. They've recently got engaged and are happy. I met this girl through work and we hit it off immediately. We get on great, and see a bit of each other outside of work as well. The thing is, she has just left work but has made a big deal about us keeping in touch. She gave me a card on her last day and wrote some really nice things about "how quickly I've become one of her best friends", and she "knows we'll stay in touch" and stuff. I'd like to stay in touch because she's a great girl, but I know that i've fallen for her and she's not available.Do you think platonic friendships can work like this? Is this the right time to call it a day and not keep in touch? Or is that just unfair on her, when she's done nothing wrong? Should I explain how I feel, or will that just mess things up even more? I guess part of me hopes that one day we will get it together, so I don't want to frighten her away either.The thing I really don't want to do though is fall deeper and deeper for her and put myself through what I went through before.Advice would be much appreciated! Thank you!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jeena knows101  +, writes (28 June 2008):
Well u cant really control ur feelings but just cuz ur jealous u want to end things with her now? U may not be her one and only right now but u have a chance. If u end things with her as a friend then that chance goes away completely. I cant tell u what to do cuz everyone is different. If u tell her u could ruin it or make it better. Theres a 50-50 chance. U should do what u think will make it better. I'd say yes tell her but not right now. Eventually. U dont want to live ur life asking every day "What if?"
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