A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Should I go back to hanging out with this friends - I had a friend that stopped talking to me because I called her out on her actions. One of my colleagues and I started having out and became friends - it’s a new friendship and within three months I found out that she had previously slept with a married man - passed no judgement since I thought that’s none of my business - fast forward to 6 months of friendship she started talking to a man that was taken and started Pursuing him - saying I don’t care he is taken I want to have sex with him- I found it disrespectful but she is desperate to get married and seeks validation through men. I understand she is not a loyal person because she has done this multiple times but I hung out with her cause I had no friends . Long story short we got into an argument because she stood me up for that guy and I called her out on it and she stopped talking to me Three months later she reached out and apologized and wants to hang out - should I continue talking to this friend - I don’t believe in the things she does but sometimes I don’t have anyone to hang out with and I don’t participate in her actions I know she isn’t loyal and I know that all she cares is only to attract men at 30 which end up using her but sometimes I feel bad if I don’tAm I wasting my time with her? Meaning just because she does those things doesn’t mean I will but if I hang out and grab a beer etcI guess I am trying to learn my lesson with people and I don’t want them to walk over me - I am also trying to weed out bad energy and influences so I wanted advice We are both 30 and single
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (28 November 2017):
 I don't think she values you as a friend and I think you would be in a much better position if you choose different friends. Not having any other friends might mean that you don't put yourself out there enough and meet new people. Personally I would make more off an effort to socialize with new people than I would to continue having a friendship with a woman who is selfish and has no morals.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (18 November 2017):
 Honestly?
Doesn't sound like a person who really WANTS friendships with women. And how long do you think it would take for her to try and poach YOUR partner (if/when you have one?)
While I can totally see being friends with someone who has a different set of morals and values - it's OK to not be absolutely the same but this woman? There is a reason she has no friends. And there is a reason she goes after men who have partners.
I would stick to being coworkers and acquaintances, I just don't think it's "worth" the effort to TRY and be friends with her. Why waste time on someone you can't trust? Whether it's a partner or friend?
If you are looking for friends then try new things, group meetups and other social events OUTSIDE work.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (18 November 2017):
 Firstly, I think you need to widen your circle of friends. If you only have one friend to choose from, then you are far more likely to undervalue yourself and put up with them treating you badly. What are your interests or passions? Join a group or take an evening course or volunteer for something. You will meet new like-minded people and, hopefully, make some good friends so you are not reliant on this woman.
Secondly, do you actually ENJOY spending time with her, or do you just do it because you are lonely? If you go out with her and find yourself being bored and annoyed/frustrated with her, then she is sapping your energy and you would be better spending that time reading or listening to music or anything else you might enjoy doing.
What will happen when you find yourself a boyfriend? You know you cannot trust her and, from what you say, she is likely to make a play for him if she finds him at all attractive. You would have to keep the two of them apart and also always be worried what she would do. Not a good position to be in.
What will happen when SHE finds herself a long-term partner? Do you think she will still be interested in hanging out with you? I doubt it very much.
As I said at the start, you really need to work at widening your circle of friends.
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