A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really need your help. I casually found this very interesting and helpful site please please please can you offer me some advice about my relationship?I am in a relationship for 5 years and I have problems these last months.He was very quiet for a long time and I couldn't discover what's in his mind and one day he wantet to talk to me. He said that he is in a crisis and he said that the begining of our relationship was wrong because I made a mistake and I presented with my brother and he thought that we made a desicion very fast and I was like imposition to him and that fact never left him quiet and bothered him for a long time and he is now in a very bad condition. He says you are a perfect girl, you waited me for five years , you offered the love that maybe no one girl would do that but that fact didn't let me love you as you deserved. I am engaged and since our engagement he changed a lot. He lives far away from me and he didnt contact with me for months. We have been together for 5 years and engaged since last year. Now he came here and he says I am so confused I dont care for anything in my life it was a big encumbrance being with you. He doesnt accept the seperation , i offered to him , he even cried why he is feeling in that manner but he pomised he would try to change. He says I never had another woman since I am with you and I will never be with one if something happens.Now he is here and he says I will call you and later he changes the mind "sorry I couldnt call you because I cannot battle with my self. I begin to ignore him, he is a little surprised. What should I do? I live in a country when the seperation after the engagement isn"t very common. I am very tired and I am afraid of myself because sometimes I act very desperately and I am crying very often , I lost my energy . Help me PLEASE.What shall I do?? Sometimes I feel pain for him when I see him in that condition, maybe he is depressed and needs help or maybe I can help him by leaving him but how can I do that ??? I love him so much. I sacrified my youth for him, I would never love somebody else. I didn't know that damn mistake I made at the begining and I am surprised why he didn't told me that some years ago but he waited until now. Is that the reason to leave me or maybe he is just having problems with himself and now is trying to find one reason.Waiting for anyone respond :), Best regards from me
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): Hi
Please forget him for now or stay away, he is stealing all your energy and returning nothing. You will love again but with a new man he is playing you with his stupid talk and slobbering self pity.
A
male
reader, RIKI93dw  +, writes (21 August 2010):
Ok I believe what u should do is call him and ask to meet him sumwhere he will feel relaxed he clearly needs to talk about sumthin that's bothering him. He probably knows he should but just can't bring himself to say it and he may need help to do so but don't pressure him ok otherwise he may shutdown.
In you're question you mentioned he changed a bit since the engagement ask him about that if you don't know where to start.
I hope this can help and I wish I could help more.
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