A
female
age
51-59,
*ittersweetchicka
writes:I have a few questions that I need help with.I am 40, I am attracted to woman and my husband knows. I have been waiting on a female, the right one so to speak.I found her, I think but its complicated. I have not talked with her for about 1yr 1/2. Sometimes out of the blue she pops in my mind and I feel a sadness in my chest. I have had dreams about her.I don'y know if I should contact her? As well as do I contact her at her new job or Facebook? Or do I just leave her be.This is the jest of what happened -to help you help me.she worked for the courts, she came onto me during the 1st step in the investigation. I developed feelings because she was always at my home for 3 yr process. At the end she came on to me, I basically told her I was interested, but did not want to get her caught in the crossfire, and she lose her job or etc. I had feelings for her, so she came first before the lust.I explained that to her, in the light version and she said she would always be there she is not going anywhere. The 1st case closed so we parted ways, i missed her and made a few attempts to keep in contact they were not returned.6 months past, we reconnected- she and I had moment of energy or attraction lust thing -there was a guy who seen it. Later I found out it was her future husband.OK, so about 3 weeks later, I called up telling her the case was done for the second part. That I wanted to meet her, she knew what I meant and said "Good". We set up a date, well she canceled by voicemail five minutes after she was to be here. She said she could because she worked later than she thought and they had a appointment at the wedding venue and in a almost cry voice she said she was sorry.She said to call he back if I still wanted too. I made two attempts then never heard back. Since that time she got married, I had a baby. But we keep seeing each other, at first -I was mad...I felt rejected, plus I have no idea if it was one sided and she was using it for note purposes for her job... No communication really was the most ugliest things, it hurts. So its been 1yr and 6 months give and take.Now here is the weirdest things, I keep seeing her... Its like we are synchronized. Different times, I will be driving and boom I feel her I look over and there she is... The build up and feeling just rushes to me and that moment slows down... I even bought a new car, and its the same. What should I do? Should I contact her or let her be?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (12 May 2016):
 I still stick with my advice am afraid. If you want friendship then off course why should you not contact her, but I think you know deep down you want more from her, and that would not be fair on your husband and children.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2016): Hi. It's Female Anon again. It does not matter what WE think, OP.Just go with your heart.Do what YOU feel is right.Do what YOU want to do.You don't need anybody's permission here.It seems you are worried that if you go for it, she will reject you again. Well, isn't it better to know for sure than to wonder for the rest of your life?Life is all about risk. Otherwise, it would not be worth living now, would it?If you take no chances, nothing good will happen. If you take a chance, at least there is the possibility something good will happen.Be brave. Take the good. Take the bad. But don't live your life sitting on the sidelines.
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A
female
reader, bittersweetchicka +, writes (12 May 2016):
bittersweetchicka is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, you gave me a lot to think about. I also came to the conclusion by my own naiveness. That maybe I just assumed she knew I wanted f/b. However, I can now see the word feelings can be took several different ways. I may be older, however I have been bubbled...I do have the love of a friendship feelings with a strong attraction to her. She is bisexual, I have only been with two guys( my 1st hubby and 2nd) so I am quite clueless at times. Boo22, I get ya... I see what you are saying... HoweverShe is like my twin, right down to how we viewed a lot and thought base. Or that is what she lead me to believe. The weird thing is on Pinterest ( we played a little flirt with each other on there) I would post a question and she would post a answer type deal - it was kind of funny.. Two days after not showing up she placed the quote something like this.. Did you ever think when one door closes its because your worth so much more and also the saddest thing is not being able to explain something to somebody.I just get this naggy feeling that if I don't do something different we are going to keep the pattern of seeing each other, and no I can't speak for her but it feels like I am drawing her to me and maybe she feels that attraction too.I love my hubby and children- and I hope she is happy, because I would feel bad if she wasn't. However, I would like a friendship/ben with her. Its odd meeting a complete twin, Even if she did not want even a coffee bean from me. . lolI still want her to know "no hard feelings" now I am stuck with do I waive, hide or ignore or what...That makes me feel horrible that she helped my kids and I am not sure what I should down I see her. Then when I see her I also feel that attraction.I think I may go with the private advice, however I am still not sure.Do you guys still feel same or has the advice changed - now that I explained this a bit better, think?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2016): Listen here.This is gnawing at your gut and you will never be able to rest until you contact her. Right?So, why not do it?Take the chance and the risk.But do it only once and be prepared to live with the outcome.I would try to friend her on Facebook. See if she accepts your request.From that point on, you will know what to do.I am a big believer in chasing your dreams and going for it. If you don't, you will always regret that you did not try or try hard enough. So, go ahead and try. But rest in the knowledge that despite our best attempts, things do not always turn out as we want them to. BUT at least when we TRY, we will have NO regrets. And will not spend the rest of our lives crying over missed opportunities. You can do something about it now. Do it. And live with whatever the outcome is. Can you do that?Hope I helped.Good luck.Keep us posted. :)
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A
male
reader, leo1  +, writes (11 May 2016):
 NO don't contact her since your married and have a baby just focus on your marriage and your baby on the other hand she is also married. leave her alone
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A
female
reader, boo22  +, writes (10 May 2016):
 Hi
It's definitely synchronicity but so what?
It doesn't mean that you are right for each other, it means that the your energy is manifesting her in your life at the moment.
I used to have things like you describe happen to me and I don't think it will stop.
At the time I thought this was some sort of sign from God for want of a better way of describing it. It turned out I was wrong.
There's a movie by Jim Carrey called 23, he was so affected by synchronicity he wrote a film about it so I know it's powerful stuff.
As for your dilemma, get in touch if you want it doesn't matter
Good luck with everything x
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (10 May 2016):
No I don't think it is a good idea contacting her. She is married now and you have a husband and baby to think about, contacting her will bring nothing good. If I am being honest I think their was a sexual attraction on her part but nothing more, I know you have feelings but from what you have wrote she did not return them. It doesn't sound like she is very interested in you, I think you need to accept that and forget about her.
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