A
female
age
41-50,
*asha11
writes:Hello, I've been single for just over a year. I have been online dating. I met a guy and he was very keen 2 dates in he was saying if we get married would you take my second name? And my daughter would be happy here at the weekends with us. He's got his own house works etc. He then left his band of five years. And said he was ill. The illness concludes with other people at the time. I was also ill but am better now. He did not message as much and I messaged more. Thinking I had done something wrong. He then said I was too much! Ha ha. So I read online to just leave him. So I did not message left him alone. Then 2 days later he messaged me. Saying hope you've found someone. I said I had not. And shame we did not work out. After a week of texting and I was being cool. My friend was checking what I sent incase I sounded "intense". He was very much looking forward to seeing me Saturday night. He said that on the Friday night. Then Saturday morning he was ill with a vomiting bug. Which my son has had and I had it yesterday and today. He's not said much. Accept he's ok today and busy at work. He's not been online at all after he messaged me. I have no idea where I stand. I don't want to come over as intense again. But I'm really at a loss? We had 6 dates and said no sex as we wanted to prove we wanted a relationship. So we have not done that. Any advise would be helpful. My friend and other friends have said I have acted perfectly fine and messages I've sent are fine. Its him that's a bit off.
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female
reader, bittersweetchicka  +, writes (10 May 2016):
I think this guy has issues... Normally I say watch out for the small red flags but this guy is the red flag...
Hot then Cold,then back and forth. I agree with all the ladies.
You do not want to get into a relationship like this one go find the one who will treat you like a queen.
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 May 2016):
 You got a "bottle rocket dater" - someone who zooms out with big words, promises and fantasy castle, only to burn up quickly too.
I'm sorry, I think you should look elsewhere.
I think it's a HUGE red flag to talk marriage after 2 dates. Someone who is in a hurry to make an instant relationship is going to drop the ball the minute it's not working out like he had either planned or imagined.
And he can have been online but hiding his activity, it's not hard.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (9 May 2016):
 I think he's off but it's not because of you. I think he's the on who's off by mentioning marriage after only two dates, then asking if you had found someone else. He's someone who blows hot and cold. You were sick too but you could still manage to message him.
I don't get guys who entertain with the idea of marriage, soulmate, then expect you to just know when to back off with messaging. Sort of like boost his ego when he wants it, then disappear when he can't handle too much attention.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 May 2016):
 It sounds like he just lost interest. He was all words and no action. It sounds like he told you what you would like to hear, but then he was scared off by your messages. Him saying he hopes you found someone is a huge sign that he has lost interest.
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