A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have known my partner for 27 years. We lost touch for a while and I had two boys in another relationship. That fizzled out and I rekindled again with this man and had my third child.I am a professional women and have always been fiercely independent with my own properties, car etc.I have not been very happy in this relationship for a while. We do not take about a future. I have never met his family. He does not invite me to his home.( He is definitely not married or living with anyone but does have other children for previous relationships) He never takes me out. I feel totally sick in the relationship.Christmas Day I cooked and it was just me and my sons. Last year he turned up late in the evening and he knew I was not happy about it. In the past I have tried to make arrangements with him, one year he told me he was going abroad, I had not long had our baby and I dropped into the most deepest depressions ever.Christmas evening I went to bed early and he must of passed but no lights. He went to my sons and then returned to mine after midnight. I refused to let him in. I have just sent him an e-mail suggesting that we are like chalk and cheese and bullet pointed all the things I want in a partner.There was one thing that has been eating away at me. He has told his son that his mother is dead. I find this so cruel that he has not allowed his son to develop a relationship with his grandmother over the last 9 years. I told him that his son is likely to resent him for that for the rest of his life.I have been trying to come out of the relationship for a while but kept trying but I just feel I am wasting time. I am now 48 and never married.Other men have started to become more attractive to me although I have not been out on dates. I even joined a social dating club. Deep down I know I want to get out of this. Its a shame as it has been a long time but he is not making no effort.I was wondering if anyone could advice me whether its worth saving this relationship as we have a big communication problem or whether I should move on but I want to try to maintain his contact with his son.Any advice or wise words of wisdom welcome. Thanks
View related questions:
grandmother, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both your time and responses. I need to move on. I'm getting older and do want to get married.
Thank you again.
A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (26 December 2011):
 From the sounds of your post, I think you've already answered your own question and that you already have one foot out the door. If you re-read your post, you don't mention anything positive about the man, other than you have longevity and that you share a child together. You also don't say how old your child is, but I am assuming on the younger side. Unfortunately, your child will take the brunt of breaking up your relationship with this man -- especially if they are close, as will your two boys.If you didn't have children, I am guessing your dilemma would be a slam dunk. Ultimately, it is up to you on whether you want to subject them to another break up. However, I think it is very important to put children first and consider saving your relationship. Perhaps it is time to seek out counseling, if not for you two, but for yourself. This relationship (and I use the term relationship loosely because it doesn't sound like a relationship to me) didn't deteriorate over night and it sounds like you may have self-esteem issues -- why would a woman fall in love, or want to be with a man, who treats her so poorly? Either way, your decision is your, but whatever you do, I hope you consider what impact this has upon your children.Merry Christmas and Best Wishes
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 December 2011):
It isn't worth trying to save and you do know it. I suspect that you're a very independent and successful woman, and he's latched onto that thinking that he won't ever have to put any energy into what you have.
But my girlfriend is a very independent woman, and I know that she wants hugs , and time spent together and to be taken out and all the same things you want. I'd never treat her the way your boyfriend (and I use that term loosely), treats you.
He just sounds like a man who's let a lot of people down, and will continue to do so.
Ditch him and find a man who will respect you and actually want to be in a relationship with you.
...............................
|
