A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Is this relationship worth holding on to?Let me start off by saying I am 20. I've been seeing a 43 year old for about 3 months now and surprisingly, our relation is great. (I'm not after money.. And he's not just after sex). We have a lot in common and can actually chat on the phone for hours.The one problem is that he made one mistake that makes it hard for me to trust him. A few weeks ago, I was working at the bookstore when I thought he had the kids. Then I saw his ex wife with the kids in my store.I asked him what him and the kids were up to and he told me he was fixing his garbage disposal and that he dropped them off with his sister so he could go get supplies.When I called him out on his lie, he admitted to me that he was fixing his ex girlfriend's garbage disposal. I hung up on him and he texted me a bunch of times apologizing and telling me he just wanted to keep a friendship with her because they were friends before they dated and they were together for awhile.When I called him later that night he was crying on the phone and I gave him a second chance.He hasn't done anything since. However, he sent me a text that was meant for someone else, it said "If you haven't decided yet, I believe you" then he texted me not long after and asked me about getting together because he was feeling down. Does that seem fishy?I know he gets tired from watching the kids, but the past 2 saturday nights, he went to bed at like 8 and 9 saying he didnt feel well or needed to catch up on some sleep. Does that seem a little suspicious to you? I called him last night right after he sent me that and we talked for a little, nothing seemed odd.I know I sound ridiculous, but I really like this guy. We have a lot of fun together and besides that one lie, he's been really good to me. Please put aside the age differences, I feel closer to him than guys my own age. My question is, should I continue this relationship or do you think he is sneaky and I need to let him go?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (5 September 2011):
 Trust is a really important thing in a relationship. Very important. It is the foundation for everything else. Your boyfriend lied to you about fixing something with his ex...ask yourself, would you have felt awkward if he was upfront and told you the truth? Or does this make you feel worse...the lie being found out? I always say trust your instincts..men can cry at the drop of a hat if they wanted to. Heck my dog gives me puppy eyes when he wants a treat. Trust your instincts. The mere fact that you are writing to us Aunties is because there is gnawing in your gut...that's your intuition, never doubt that when it starts nagging you like that....we women are blessed with a sixth sense...trust it baby girl. If you feel that something is up...communicate it to him, honestly, firmly and value yourself whatever happens. You deserve the best and you deserve something honest and special. Aunty Ana
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