A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi Aunts and Uncles. I'm looking for help about my relationship. I've been with my partner for 7.5 years now and I really love him. I have never loved anyone as much as him and I feel as though he is my other half, an anchor and I feel so happy when I see him. The thing is, that we had lots of ups and downs. He has been supportive to me emotionally and financially in the past and has been reliable and faithful etc etc .. He does however have some issues which have caused arguments (bitter towards his ex wife and can be hot tempered and get a bit verbally abusive in arguments). He can be sweet and loving but he has this other side to him which has surfaced more and more since his divorce became final (they were separated when I met him) and since he got his won place. He is also scared to get married again he says. Is it worth trying really hard to fight for a relationship and make it work if it is the person you really love? I feel complete when I am with him and the thought of life without him feels strange, scary and anchorless. We have split up a few times but always got back together. The problem is that he doesn't want to go for counselling and he seems to enjoy being alone a lot. Has anyone else been in this situation and fought for your relationship? I can't imagine life without him yet life with him can be difficult. At the moment we are apart and it is breaking my heart and I want to know how to proceed when we do speak and meet up again. We argued and he walked out and I said maybe a break would be a good idea and let's talk in a few weeks. I said I would get in touch in a few weeks. The few weeks is up now and I haven't heard from him. How do I go about sorting this out? Thanks for reading this.
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a break, divorce, ex-wife, got back together, his ex, split up Reply to this Question
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male
reader, DeadEyeDick  +, writes (5 March 2010):
 You said that you would get in touch in a few weeks! Right? now the few weeks is up and you havent heard from him? um maybe thats because you told him youd get in touch with him? good lord! and I say if he means that much to you, it's a no brainer, why would you even wonder if it's worth fighting for, he's been hurt, he doesnt trust women yet, he will eventually, give him time and space to warm up to you, and dont keep trying to pin him down, its pretty obvious that's the exact thing you shouldnt be doing to him, and also stop breaking up or "taking time off" if your only goal is to change him, and if you needed time off sincerely for yourself, then work on yourself, he'll contact you when he's ready!
A
female
reader, vickivonvicki +, writes (5 March 2010):
I have found myself in the same situation as you. Your story sounds exactly the same as mine. I question in my relationship if my bf is TRULY over his ex. I feel like if there are still hard feelings......there are feelings. If you were over someone.....you wouldnt be able to have emotions over it. I wonder if the issues in my relationship are actually about unresolved feelings for the ex. Sure he loves me and we are really good when we are good, but there are a lot of issues. I so however feel like if you are that much in love, then it is worth fighting for. Dont let pride get in the way of getting back together. Pick up the phone and talk....really talk. Good luck with this.
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