A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out for 5 months now, We only see each other in school because he's adopted and lives with his mom and his godmother/babysitter? and 20 other kids. His babysitter doesnt like me so I cant see him outside of school. Now I dont know why she doesnt like me I mean ive never even met her?? So all we do really is call each other and text its summer time of course he has another house up in PA and lives with his mom and his to sibling 6 years old. When we started dating we were on the phone like all day and when we were in school we were in all the same classes (boces program) I was the only girl up until september witch sucks anyways we know everything about each other and theres not much to talk about we both love each other and we've planned out our future together and our kids names hes only had 2 other girlfriends before me but they only lasted no more than a week and they were kinda mean to him, im like an angel to him im nice to him I listen to him and I care about him a lot!He's my second boyfriend my first one didnt go so well cause he was kinda abusive anyways I guess since we dont have anything to talk about hes been hanging out with his friends (I dont have any friends and its hard to make em ADHD soical anxiety disorder) Plus my past friends didnt go good either well hes been hanging out with his friends sleeping over there houses and barely has time to talk to me anymore. we came up with a schedule to only talk at night but it was cut short since he needs his rest so yeah now I dont do anything I stay in bed all day every day and wait for him to call yeah I know thats not healthy but ehh.. Ok so the past few days hes been busy and stuff then yesterday he didnt even call until 11? pm and he was at his friends, he has a problem with listening I understand that but whenever we talk he only talks about himself like the whole time so he called me told me about whta happned kinda funny but then when I wanted to ask him something he said got to go and said he would call back but he never did. now he does this quite alot recently we do fight but then we make up most of its cause he starts em and then blames me so then I walk on eggshells for him and do whatever he says but its annoying me that I listen to his stupid convos and then he doesnt have the time to listen to mine, then today he called me at 2 about an hour ago and we were on the phone for maybe 2 mins and he was the only one talking then when I ask him about last night why his phone was off all day he said gotta go call u back. its been 48 mins and still nothing hes at his friends so maybe hes busy but still is he keeping somthing from me? Or is he just busy cause I know guys forget maybe he forgot to call me back but still im a girl and I get very worryed plus I think im too clingy I think im clingy cause I have no friends and My one otherr freind (boy) is in texas so cant get together with him To scared to make friends and I got nothing else to do but bother him and I hate doing that and now I keep thinking hes cheating on me I know he wouldnt and he said hed never do that but still what is he hiding if hes even hiding anythings at all now when we did talk on the phone the other night we stayed up till 2 watching snakes on a plane we watch movies/shows together while on the phone like we put the same thing on and watch it while on the phone we have unlimmited minutes so it dosnt matter but The thing I hate is when I wanna watch somthing romantic with him he says no you can watch it im fine what I watch everything you want me to watch and I cant complain or talk to him about this cause whenever I tell him whats bothering me we always end up in a fight and he said if we have one more fight were gunna break up and I dont wanna break up (he dosnt either) but the fact thats hard is we've planned our future out and I love him to death and relal really dont wanna lose him I feel like I love him more then he loves me he says he loves me more but I think I show it way more im always the one thats buys him stuff cause he dosnt have money wow shouldnt the guy pay for stuff im not spiold and im not a bitch but Still and then I hold the door open for him and he doesnt for me when he gets hurt i rush over to him one day I was in class and my leg fell alseep and couldnt walk he didnt do anything and then I feel like he only cares about himself.I mean he does listen to me somtimes but not always when we have a promlem he trys to fix it dont get me wrong but idk He has ADHD too plus I also got ADD and ODD so??? I see a theripist so sorry about the spelling errors and all this long writeing but please help me out do you think this is a good reletionship? Is there anyway to make it better? Do you think were falling about? Do you think im too clingy what should I do during the day to keep my mind off him and stop being clingy I have no friends so what can I do plus I dont have a car so and I cant go out becuase im getting my kitchen redone and cant leave.. Have to stay home I would like to go outside and ride my bike but there are ppl around my naberhood that make fun of me (esspecailly in school) Again sorry for the spelling errors im not a good speller what should I do its also not helping that I wanna lose weight so thats another proplem but hey he still likes me even though im fat ppl keep telling me im not fat and that im crazy but maybe its just me I mean im not skin and bones and im not average I gotta extra meat but all well.. What should I do To fix the relationship? do you think its good or bad how do I fix it? Please help ASAP please :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (7 August 2010):
 Okay, I'm back. I don't really know what else to tell you....are you taking medication to help with your symptoms?
I wonder if there are any support groups you can join or belong to. I guess your therapist would know about any that exist.
I don't know if you attend a church? Perhaps joining one that has social activities, such as a youth club, etc. would help in making new friends.
Sorry I can't offer anything more. I do wish you all the best in dealing with the confusion and upsett you're experiencing with this young man......
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (7 August 2010):
I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but NO, this relationship is not good at all!
YOU are MUCH too wrapped up in him and his wants, needs, concerns, and HE is far too wrapped up in his problems and activities to really be able to relate to you.
I understand that this is extremely difficult for you because you have ADHD. You're seeing a therapist, that's good. Have you, can you, talk to her/him more about what you have told us? Your therapist may have some ideas you can put to good use in dealing with this........
I'll post again shortly....
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