A
female
age
41-50,
*aith81
writes:I’ve been seeing my boyfriend for a little over 2 years now. We live about 2 hours away from each other, so we only get to see each other on the weekends. We were both separated when we started dating. I’m now divorced, but he is still in the divorce process. I’m eager to advance our relationship, and he says that he feels the same way. He’s constantly telling me how much he adores me, and he treats me very well in most ways. However, he keeps making excuses for why it’s taking so long to get the paperwork for his divorce finalized. One of his sons died during this time (just under 2 years ago), so some of the delay has to do with that. He doesn’t want to bring up a difficult topic with his wife around the date of his son’s death or his birthday, etc. The other reason for the delay has to do with his other son. He is 24 years old, and, quite frankly, despises me. He sees me as the person who broke up his parents’ marriage, even though his parents were already separated when I met his father. My boyfriend won’t even talk to his son about me in fear of alienating him. He says that he already lost one son; he doesn’t want to lose the other. His other reasons involve the division of property. He wants to make sure he gets what he wants in the divorce, so he’s doesn’t want to pressure his wife too much and make her angry.So, I keep waiting for the time when he will finally take the necessary steps to move forward. But, the longer time goes on, the less likely I believe that he really wants to be with me. I’m beginning to think that it is all a bunch of excuses, and that he is just waiting for me to get frustrated enough to leave. I was planning to move to his hometown in the fall, thinking that decreasing the distance will relieve some of the stress that I’m experiencing, but now I’m having doubts about the move. I don’t want to uproot my own life and start anew, only to discover six months or a year later that there was never any future for the two of us.I think deep-down I know what I need to do, but I don’t want to act rashly. I need other people’s opinions to help me decide. Thanks!
View related questions:
broke up, divorce Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (2 July 2009):
 First, I wouldn't move if I were you. Second, I would try to stay busy, go out with friends, and when you are ready, start dating other men. Perhaps if he knows you aren't just sitting around waiting for him it will put a little fire in his belly and get him off that fence he's sitting on.
|
