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Is this real or just a crush?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 5 January 2010)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've been dating my girlfriend for about 3 months thing were great until I found out not only is she still texting her ex but apparently she stopped seeing him only two weeks before she started seeing me. Their relationship ended because he showed another lady a little too much attention. Beside that when we are hanging together her cell phone messages sometimes get the attention over me and to top it off when i was out of town she reached out to him to hang out. I told her I couldn't be anyone's number two but she swears she is only talking to him and wants to see him so she can rub in how much better she is doing by being with me but at this point I think she is just having second thoughts on what see wants or maybe I just happened to be around at the right time to provide something she needed. Is this real or am I just a crush?

View related questions: crush, her ex, text

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (5 January 2010):

Her reasoning either shows that she is still interested, or she is warped. Why on earth would she want to go back to see her ex to rub it in. What does she think will happen? I think she's after getting him back, and has used you as a rebound. She's hoping he will see he has made a mistake and crawl back. Either she has to stop seeing him, or you need to move on. This sounds far too suspicious to me.

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (5 January 2010):

The signs are not good.

Using "because I'm still bitter about it" as an excuse to see him is the most rubbish excuse I've ever heard.

I think you need to keep your dignity now and tell her that since she is clearly not over him, then you don't want to get hurt.

Give her a chance to cut contact and make things good, but if she's not willing then cut your losses now while your feelings aren't too strong.

Good Luck!! xx

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