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Is this one to keep?

Tagged as: Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 May 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 9 May 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I've been friends with this guy for 2, 2.5 years. We always get on very well in groups but don't really talk outside of seeing each other at gigs/parties. He had a girlfriend until about 6 months ago. She was lovely but he used to occasionally say things like 'you and her are very similar like that'.

The day after I found out they'd broken up (about 5 months ago) we matched on a dating app. But neither of us acknowledged it. I even sent him a message on it the next time we were at a party together but he didn't respond. So I decided to forget it. Only then we were at a festival in Wales last week and we matched on another app. Internet was pretty dire at the festival so I don't know if he saw it at the festival. But I know he's been pretty open in the past about always being the one to start the conversation on these apps. I can't help but hope it's different in this case because he knows me? Or am I better off assuming he only matched with me 'as a joke' or 'out of curiosity', rather than because he actually likes me? The more I think of it, the more I realise how much I like him. But I don't want to make seeing him awkward, when we have loads of friends in common and work in similar circles (we are both freelancers doing different things but in the same industry). At the same time, if I don't see him until August and he has a girlfriend by then, I'll regret this hugely.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (9 May 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntIt sounds like he is not as interested in you as you are in him. He did not acknowledge the match at all when you brought it up. Probably because he was unsure about what to say. He is not long out of a relationship therefore maybe he is using these apps as hook ups and for a bit of fun, maybe he is not looking for anything to serious at the moment. If you like him don't be afraid to ask him out for a coffee or something to eat.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (9 May 2016):

Honeypie agony auntIf you two have matched up (as in picked each other? or randomly got picked?) He might like you, but... I'm not sure his level of interest in you is as great as yours in him. After all he ignored both times.

Or he is simply not really over his ex.

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