A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a guy of 45 three months ago. We went out on a few dates and by the 3rd date he was all over me, wanted to be more than friends.We began properly dating. He sent me a rose, and told me a month in that I had his heart. He said he couldn't believe he'd found me and that he loved me to bits. Things were passionate. He met my kids and introduced me to people. I couldn't believe how lucky I was.He'd began talking about future dates and was including me and it seemed he was thinking long term.He suddenly goes a little quiet after I missed a goodnight text. I didn't think much of it but he then follows a day later with a is everything ok text, I reply yes and a few messages are exchanged and he ignores my last message. So left it, the next day he texts me should I be concerned with the lack of communication. I didn't really say much as I was confused as to why he'd needed to ask. The next day he sends a text saying he wants long term and with us only being able to see each other every other weekend he doesn't think it will work long term. No sorry, nothing. I was wondering if I was missing something.? I know he'd told me he had been cheated on in the past and had been dumped after a engagement proposal. I just can't get my head round why a guy would tell you he loves you, introduce you to people then suddenly dump me by a text. Does he sound insecure and should I have reassured him about the lack of text. I was simply giving him space and didn't want to be too clingy?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 May 2016):
 It sounds like he is insecure and very clingy. I agree with Honeypie that this is a lot of drama way to early on in the relationship. It sounds like he needs a lot of attention, and yes this could be because of his past, but you only missed one good night text and it sounds like he self sabotaged then probably because his mind went in to over drive and he wondered why you did not text, maybe he pictured you with another man. I think you might be better off out of this relationship if I am honest.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 May 2016):
 He does sound insecure to me. Missing ONE "goodnight text" shouldn't cause THAT much drama.
I think he is what I'll call a "bottle rocket dater" someone who zooms into a relationship with promises of long term relationship, with declarations of love (after a VERY short time), meeting family etc. WAY early. AND then, nitpicking and pulling away.
He isn't able to SUSTAIN all that involvement and emotions that he started with so heavily out the gate.
If I were you, in the future, I would not introduce kids so early. Because YOU do not really know this guy.
And this guy? I'd wish him well and move on. Too much drama over NOTHING, way too early.
YOU (general you) CAN NOT maintain a good relationship over texting. It takes more. Same with REALLY getting to know someone. It needs to be in person.
This guy? Is expecting you to sit with baited breath waiting by the phone for his text so you can reply... It's not really realistic when you HAVE a life and kids, etc.
This guy? I'd wish him well and move on. Too much drama over NOTHING, way too early.
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