A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I had sex for the first time this week with a guy who is three years older then me. I really liked it and he was so sweet about it but we aren't dating and there are storys of him being a player but I let him do it anyways. It's been two days since and he isn't really talking to me as much as I wanted. He hasn't talked to me today and I feel very upset. I don't want to seem annoying and text or call him because I'm waiting for him to come to me. I have already told him about how I feel and he told me he would always be there for me. I just ran out of things to do I need help!! Is this normal to feel upset after sex or a hook up? What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): Was in the same situation as you. The guy was 12 years my senior and I didn't know what to do. Well as a wise friend once asked me... "Want us to kick his ass?"
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2011): Your body, you life, is the greatest thing you can give a man. Why would you give yourself so blatenly loosely to someone whom you are not in love with or know the definiation of love. Sex is NOT love but a forum for showing love. This is not be be done lightly.
Dump that guy, pull yourself up by your boot straps and realize you are special, an exceptional woman, human being, and worthy of the same thing you give out. Why don't you VALUE yourself?? Don't give yourself, your very essense away again unless you are ready to walk down the isle with a person. Find another way to have your needs met instead of giving away the very most precious thing you have - YOU!!
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A
female
reader, darkeyedgirl  +, writes (1 July 2010):
One thing I know is that people who are young have yet to learn how what they do can truly hurt people. They make big mistakes, and they don't always do the right thing. Young people can do very bad things, young men aren't always brave and do a lot of running away, and he sounds like he has done exactly this.What you have to do now is love yourself. I know what it feels like to be used sexually. It makes you feel like garbage. When someone sees you as nothing more than a body to grope you feel incredibly objectified and it burns, aches. Especially when it's the first time.The advice I will give you sweet heart is that almost NO ONE's first time is magical. It's awkward and often humiliating. People build the first time up to have to be something incredible and meaningful and special, but you know what? There will be so many more and better sexual experiences. My first time was mortifying, but after a few years you don't feel so much regret.And the other thing I can say is that while right now you might feel like dirty and used and horrible, sex is not a bad thing. Trust me, in your life you are going to have some wonderful, loving, giving, earth shattering sex with people who truly love you and truly care about you, and it's going to leave whatever hollow satisfaction this jerk got from you in the dust. He won't have the truly great sex for a long long time, not until he can learn how to love.So don't worry. For now just seek the company of some really good friends. You will meet someone soon, and better yet, now you have the really awkward part of loosing your virginity behind you. But you'll always still have the magical experience of making love with someone special for the first time, and it will make you feel really really close to them.You have a loving soul and just want someone to care about. Things are going to be just fine for you sweet heart.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010): Next time, you should wait until your relationship is more commited before having sex. There needs to be trust between partners.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2010): I hate to tell you this, but you are probably just another notch on his bedpost now. Smart money says there will be no real relationship with him.
Screw a player = get played.
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